founded on reason and nature,
judge," I continued, "that you would be more disposed ta cultivate
this member than to mutilate it; and this the more especially, as
I understand all monikins believe it to be the very quintessence of
reason."

"No doubt, sir; we do cultivate our tails, but it is on the vegetable
principle, or as the skilful gardener lops the branch that it may throw
out more vigorous shoots. It is true, we do not expect to see the tail
itself sprouting out anew; but then we look to the increase of its
reason, and to its more general diffusion in society. The extremities of
our cauda, as fast as they are lopped, are sent to a great intellectual
mill, where the mind is extracted from the matter, and the former is
sold, on public account, to the editors of the daily journals. This
is the reason our Leaplow journalists are so distinguished for their
ingenuity and capacity, and the reason, too, why they so faithfully
represent the average of the Leaplow knowledge."

"And honesty, you ought to add," growled the brigadier.

"I see the beauty of the system, judge, and very beautiful it is! This
essence of lopped tails represents the average of Leaplow brains, being
a compound of all the tails in the country; and, as a daily journal is
addressed to the average intellect of the community, there is a singular
fitness between the readers and the readees. To complete my stock of
information on this head, however, will you just allow me to
inquire what is the effect of this system on the totality of Leaplow
intelligence?"

"Wonderful! As we are a commonwealth, it is necessary to have a unity
of sentiment on all leading matters, and by thus compounding all the
extremes of our reasons we get what is called 'public opinion'; which
public opinion is uttered through the public journals--"

"And a most patriotic patriot is always chosen to be the inspector of
the mill," interrupted the brigadier.

"Better and better! you send all the finer parts of your several
intellects to be ground up and kneaded together; the compound is sold to
the journalists, who utter it anew, as the results of the united wisdom
of the country--"

"Or, as public opinion. We make great account of reason in all our
affairs, invariably calling ourselves the most enlightened nation on
earth; but then we are especially averse to anything like an insulated
effort of the mind, which is offensive, anti-republican, aristocratic
and dangerous. We put