l not to let the claims of any one citizen,
or even any set of citizens, interfere with that harmony which it is
so necessary, for the purposes of trade, to maintain with all foreign
courts; which courts being accustomed themselves to consider their
subjects as cattle, to be worked in the traces of the state, are
singularly restive whenever they hear of any individual being made of so
much importance. Should any Leaplower become troublesome on this score,
give him a bad name at once; and in order to effect that object with
your own single-minded and right-loving countrymen, swear that he is
a disorganizer, and, my life on it, both public opinions at home will
sustain you; for there is nothing on which our public opinions agree
so well as the absolute deference which they pay to foreign public
opinions--and this the more especially, in all matters that are likely
to affect profits, by deranging commerce. You will, above all things,
make it a point to be in constant relations with some of the readiest
paragraph-writers of the newspapers, in order to see that facts are
properly stated at home. I would advise you to look out some foreigner,
who has never seen Leaplow, for this employment; one that is also paid
to write for the journals of Leapup, or Leapdown, or some other foreign
country; by which means you will be sure to get an impartial agent, or
one who can state things in your own way, who is already half paid for
his services, and who will not be likely to make blunders by meddling
with distinctive thought. When a person of this character is found,
let him drop a line now and then in favor of your own sagacity and
patriotism; and if he should say a pleasant thing occasionally about me,
it will do no harm, but may help the little wheel to turn more readily.
In order to conceal his origin, let your paragraph-agent use the
word OUR freely; the use of this word, as you know, being the only
qualification of citizenship in Leaplow. Let him begin to spell the word
O-U-R, and then proceed to pronounce it, and be careful that he does not
spell it H-O-U-R, which might betray his origin. Above all things, you
will be patriotic and republican, avoiding the least vindication of your
country and its institutions, and satisfying yourself with saying that
the latter are, at least, well suited to the former, if you should say
this in a way to leave the impression on your hearers, that you think
the former fitted for nothing else, it wi