infamous
and unconstitutional position that the sun gives light by day, and the
moon by night, is openly and impudently propagated, and now is the only
occasion that will probably ever offer to arrest an error so pregnant
with deception and domestic evils. We present to your notice a suitable
defender of all those near and dear interests, in the person of,

"JOHN GOLDENCALF,

"the known patriot, the approved legislator, the profound philosopher,
the incorruptible statesman. To our adopted fellow-citizens we need
not recommend Mr. Goldencalf, for he is truly one of themselves; to the
native citizens we will only say, 'Try him, and you will be more than
satisfied.'"

I found this placard of great use, for it gave me the first information
I had yet had of the duty I was expected to perform in the coming
session of the great council; which was merely to demonstrate that the
moon gave light by day, and that the sun gave light by night. Of course,
I immediately set about, in my own mind, hunting up the proper arguments
by which this grave political hypothesis was to be properly maintained.
The next placard was in favor of,

"NOAH POKE,"

"the experienced navigator, who will conduct the ship of state into
the haven of prosperity--the practical astronomer who knows by frequent
observations, that lunars are not to be got in the dark."

"Perpendiculars, be plumb, and lay your enemies on their backs!"

After this I fell in with--

"THE HONORABLE ROBERT SMUT,"

"is confidently recommended to all their fellow-citizens by the
nominating committee of the Anti-Approved-Sublimated-Politico-Tangents,
as the real gentleman, a ripe scholar, [Footnote: I afterwards found
this was a common phrase in Leaplow, being uniformly applied to every
monikin who wore spectacles.] an enlightened politician, and a sound
Democrat."

"But I should fill the manuscript with nothing else, were I to record
a tithe of the commendations and abuse that were heaped on us all, by a
community to whom, as yet, we were absolutely strangers. A single sample
of the latter will suffice."

"AFFIDAVIT."

"Personally appeared before me, John Equity, justice of the peace, Peter
Veracious, etc., etc., who, being duly sworn upon the Holy Evangelists,
doth depose and say, viz.: That he was intimately acquainted with one
John Goldencalf in his native country, and that he is personally knowing
to the fact that he, the said John Goldencalf, has three wives, seven