in using opprobrious epithets. This
contre-temps happened in the principal street of Bivouac, or in what
is called the Wide-path, an avenue of more than a league in extent; but
notwithstanding its great length, Noah took it up at one end and abused
it all the way to the other, with a precision, fidelity, rapidity and
point, that excited general admiration. "It was the dirtiest, worst
paved, meanest, vilest, street he had ever seen, and if they had it at
Stunnin'tun, instead of using it as a street at all, they would fence
it up at each end, and turn it into a hog-lot." Here Brigadier Downright
betrayed unequivocal signs of alarm. Drawing us aside, he vehemently
demanded of the captain if he were mad, to berate in this unheard-of
manner the touchstone of Bivouac sentiment, nationality, taste,
and elegance! This street was never spoken of except by the use of
superlatives; a usage, by the way, that Noah himself had by no means
neglected. It was commonly thought to be the longest and the shortest,
the widest and the narrowest, the best built and the worst built avenue
in the universe. "Whatever you say or do," he continued, "whatever you
think or believe, never deny the superlatives of the Wide-path. If asked
if you ever saw a street so crowded, although there be room to wheel a
regiment, swear it is stifling; if required to name another promenade
so free from interruption, protest, by your soul, that the place is a
desert! Say what you will of the institutions of the country--"

"How!" I exclaimed; "of the sacred rights of monikins?"

"Bedaub them, and the mass of the monikins, too, with just as much
filth as you please. Indeed, if you wish to circulate freely in genteel
society, I would advise you to get a pretty free use of the words,
'jacobins,' 'rabble,' 'mob,' 'agrarians,' 'canaille' and 'democrats';
for they recommend many to notice who possess nothing else. In our happy
and independent country it is a sure sign of lofty sentiment, a finished
education, a regulated intellect, and a genteel intercourse, to know how
to bespatter all that portion of your fellow-creatures, for instance,
who live in one-story edifices."

"I find all this very extraordinary, your government being professedly a
government of the mass!"

"You have intuitively discovered the reason--is it not fashionable to
abuse the government everywhere? Whatever you do, in genteel life, ought
to be based on liberal and elevated principles; and therefor