en miserable?"

"Very far from it, Sir John--I never was in better spirits, or had
better prospects, in my life."

I remembered the extraordinary manner in which the brigadier had
saved Noah's head, and was fully resolved not to be astonished at any
manifestation of monikin ingenuity. Still I could not forbear demanding
an explanation.

"Why, it may seem odd to you, Sir John, to find a politician, who is
apparently in the depths of despair, really on the eve of a glorious
preferment. Such, however, is in fact my case. In Leaplow, humility is
everything. The monikin who will take care and repeat sufficiently often
that he is just the poorest devil going, that he is absolutely unfit for
even the meanest employment in the land, and in other respects ought to
be hooted out of society, may very safely consider himself in a fair way
to be elevated to some of the dignities he declares himself the least
fitted to fill."

"In such a case, all he will have to do then, will be to make
his choice, and denounce himself loudest touching his especial
disqualifications for that very station?"

"You are apt, Sir John, and would succeed, if you would only consent to
remain among us!" said the judge, winking.

"I begin to see into your management--after all, you are neither
miserable nor ashamed?"

"Not the least in the world. It is of more importance for monikins of
my calibre to seem to be anything than to be it. My fellow-citizens are
usually satisfied with this sacrifice; and, now principle is eclipsed,
nothing is easier."

"But how happens it, judge, that one of your surprising dexterity
and agility should be caught tripping? I had thought you particularly
expert, and infallible in all the gyrations. Perhaps the little affair
of the cauda has leaked out?"

The judge laughed in my face.

"I see you know little of us, after all, Sir John. Here have we
proscribed caudae, as anti-republican, both public opinions setting
their faces against them; and yet a monikin may wear one abroad a mile
long with impunity if he will just submit to a new dock when he comes
home, and swear that he is the most miserable wretch going. If he can
throw in a favorable word, too, touching the Leaplow cats and dogs--Lord
bless you, sir! they would pardon treason!"

"I begin to comprehend your policy, judge, if not your polity. Leaplow
being a popular government, it becomes necessary that its public agents
should be popular too. Now, as monikins