a paradox, in which self-denial and humility are
proposed as tenets, in direct contradiction to every man's senses.

That phrenology and caudology are sister sciences, one being quite as
demonstrable as the other, and more too.

That philosophy, sound principles and virtue, are really delightful;
but, after all, that they are no more than so many slaves of the belly;
a man usually preferring to eat his best friend to starving.

That a little wheel and a great wheel are as necessary to the motion
of a commonweath, as to the motion of a stage-coach, and that what this
gains in periphery that makes up in activity, on the rotatory principle.

That it is one thing to have a king, another to have a throne, and
another to have neither.

That the reasoning which is drawn from particular abuses, is no
reasoning for general uses.

That, in England, if we did not use blinkers, our cattle would break our
necks; whereas, in Germany we travel at a good pace, allowing the horse
the use of his eyes; and in Naples we fly, without even a bit!

That the converse of what has just been said of horses is true of men,
in the three countries named.

That occultations of truth are just as certain as the aurora boreal is,
and quite as easily accounted for.

That men who will not shrink from the danger and toil of penetrating the
polar basin, will shrink from the trouble of doing their own thinking,
and put themselves, like Captain Poke, under the convoy of a God-like.

That all our wisdom is insufficient to protect us from frauds, one
outwitting us by gyrations and flapjacks, and another by adding new
joints to the cauda.

That men are not very scrupulous touching the humility due to God, but
are so tenacious of their own privileges in this particular, they will
confide in plausible rogues rather than in plain-dealing honesty.

That they who rightly appreciate the foregoing facts, are People's
Friends, and become the salt of the earth--yea, even the Most Patriotic
Patriots!

That it is fortunate "all will come right in heaven," for it is certain
too much goes wrong on earth.

That the social-stake system has one distinctive merit: that of causing
the owners of vested rights to set their own interests in motion, while
those of their fellow-citizens must follow, as a matter of course,
though perhaps a little clouded by the dust raised by their leaders.

That he who has an Anna, has the best investment in humanity; and that
if he