having accused the sovereign of this
realm of being in possession of the faculty called 'a memory,' thereby
endangering the peace of society, unsettling the social relations, and
setting a dangerous example of insubordination and of contempt of the
laws. Of this crime, after a singularly patient and impartial hearing,
you have been found guilty. The law allows the court no discretion in
the case. It is my duty to pass sentence forthwith; and I now solemnly
ask you, if you have anything to say why sentence of decaudization
should not be pronounced against you." Here the chief-justice took just
time enough to gape, and then proceeded--"You are right in throwing
yourself altogether on the mercy of the court, which better knows what
is fittest for you, than you can possibly know for yourself. You will be
taken, Noah Poke, or No. 1, sea-water-color, forthwith, to the centre of
the public square, between the hours of sunrise and sunset of this day,
where your cauda will be cut off; and after it has been divided into
four parts, a part will be exposed towards each of the cardinal points
of the compass; and the brush thereof being consumed by fire, the ashes
will be thrown into your face, and this without benefit of clergy. And
may the Lord have mercy on your soul!"

"Noah Poke, or No. 1, sea-water-color," put in Baron Longbeard, without
giving the culprit breathing-time, "you have been indicted, tried, and
found guilty of the enormous crime of charging the queen-consort of this
realm of being wanting in the ordinary, important, and every-day
faculty of a memory. Have you anything to say why sentence should not
be forthwith passed against you? No; I am sure you are very right in
throwing yourself altogether on the mercy of the court, which is quite
disposed to show you all that is in its power, which happens, in
this case, to be none at all. I need not dwell on the gravity of your
offence. If the law should allow that the queen has no memory, other
females might put in claims to the same privilege, and society would
become a chaos. Marriage vows, duties, affections, and all our nearest
and dearest interests would be unhinged, and this pleasant state of
being would degenerate into a moral, or rather an immoral pandemonium.
Keeping in view these all-important considerations, and more especially
the imperativeness of the law, which does not admit of discretion, the
court sentences you to be carried hence, without delay, to the cen