est
patriot. I give you my honor, sir, all my own claims are founded
entirely on this particular merit."

"He is right, Sir John; you may believe every word he says," observed
the brigadier, nodding.

"I begin to understand your system, which is certainly well adapted
to the monikin habits, and must give rise to a noble emulation in
the practice of the rotatory principle. But I understood you to say,
colonel, that the people of Leaplow are from the hive of Leaphigh?"

"Just so, sir."

"How happens it, then, that you dock yourselves of the nobler member,
while the inhabitants of this country cherish it as the apple of the
eye--nay, as the seat of reason itself?"

"You allude to our tails?--Why, sir, nature has dealt out these
ornaments with a very unequal hand, as you may perceive on looking out
of the window. We agree that the tail is the seat of reason, and that
the extremities are the most intellectual parts; but, as governments
are framed to equalize these natural inequalities, we denounce them as
anti-republican. The law requires, therefore, that every citizen, on
attaining his majority, shall be docked agreeably to a standard measure
that is kept in each district. Without some such expedient, there might
be an aristocracy of intellect among us, and there would be an end of
our liberties. This is the qualification of a voter, too, and of course
we all seek to obtain it."

Here the brigadier leaned across the table and whispered that a
great patriot, on a most trying occasion, had succeeded in throwing
a summerset out of his own into the antagonist line, and that, as he
carried with him all the sacred principles for which his party had been
furiously contending for many years, he had been unceremoniously dragged
back by his tail, which unfortunately came within reach of those quondam
friends on whom he had turned his back; and that the law had, in truth,
been passed in the interests of the patriots. He added, that the lawful
measure allowed a longer stump than was commonly used; but that it was
considered underbred for any one to wear a dock that reached more than
two inches and three quarters of an inch into society, and that most of
their political aspirants, in particular, chose to limit themselves to
one inch and one quarter of an inch, as a proof of excessive humility.

Thanking Mr. Downright for his clear and sensible explanation, the
conversation was resumed.

"I had thought, as your institutions are