, that they might
prove, by ocular evidence, what a poor ungainly set of wretches they
really were, carnally considered; or perhaps they went on all-fours to
heaven, in sign of their unfitness to enter into the presence of the
pure of mind in an attitude more erect and confident. Well, these
fancies of mine only went to prove how erroneous and false are
the conclusions of one whose capacity has not been amplified and
concatenated by the ingenuities of a very refined civilization. His
grace the most gracious father in God, wore a mantle of extraordinary
fineness and beauty, the material of which was composed of every tenth
hair taken from all the citizens of Leaphigh, who most cheerfully
submitted to be shaved, in order that the wants of his most eminent
humility might be decently supplied. The mantle, wove from such a warp
and such a woof, was necessarily very large; and it really appeared to
me that the prelate did not very well know what to do with so much of
it, more especially as the contributions include a new robe annually. I
was now desirous of getting a sight of his tail; for, knowing that
the Leaphighers take great pride in the length and beauty of that
appurtenance, I very naturally supposed that a saint who wore so fine
and glorious a robe, by way of humility, must have recourse to some
novel expedient to mortify himself on his sensitive subject, at least.
I found that the ample proportions of the mantle concealed not only the
person, but most of the movements of the archbishop; and it was with
many doubts of my success that I led the brigadier behind the episcopal
train to reconnoitre. The result disappointed expectation again. Instead
of being destitute of a tail, or of concealing that with which nature
had supplied him beneath his mantle, the most gracious dignitary wore
no less than six caudae, viz., his own, and five others added to it, by
some subtle process of clerical ingenuity that I shall not attempt to
explain; one "bent on the other," as the captain described them in a
subsequent conversation. This extraordinary train was allowed to sweep
the floor; the only sign of humility, according to my uninstructed
faculties, I could discern about the person and appearance of this
illustrious model of clerical self-mortification and humility.

The brigadier, however, was not tardy in setting me right. In the first
place, he gave me to understand that the hierarchy of Leaphigh was
illustrated by the order of