rest was torn away. How cruel, just when she was
going to mention me! for I could not doubt it was your humble servant she
was about to mention, though not very favourably, of course. I could
tell that, as well by those few words as by the recollection of her whole
aspect and demeanour towards me in the commencement of our acquaintance.
Well! I could readily forgive her prejudice against me, and her hard
thoughts of our sex in general, when I saw to what brilliant specimens
her experience had been limited.

Respecting me, however, she had long since seen her error, and perhaps
fallen into another in the opposite extreme: for if, at first, her
opinion of me had been lower than I deserved, I was convinced that now my
deserts were lower than her opinion; and if the former part of this
continuation had been torn away to avoid wounding my feelings, perhaps
the latter portion had been removed for fear of ministering too much to
my self-conceit. At any rate, I would have given much to have seen it
all--to have witnessed the gradual change, and watched the progress of
her esteem and friendship for me, and whatever warmer feeling she might
have; to have seen how much of love there was in her regard, and how it
had grown upon her in spite of her virtuous resolutions and strenuous
exertions to--but no, I had no right to see it: all this was too sacred
for any eyes but her own, and she had done well to keep it from me.

CHAPTER XLV

Well, Halford, what do you think of all this? and while you read it, did
you ever picture to yourself what my feelings would probably be during
its perusal? Most likely not; but I am not going to descant upon them
now: I will only make this acknowledgment, little honourable as it may be
to human nature, and especially to myself,--that the former half of the
narrative was, to me, more painful than the latter, not that I was at all
insensible to Mrs. Huntingdon's wrongs or unmoved by her sufferings, but,
I must confess, I felt a kind of selfish gratification in watching her
husband's gradual decline in her good graces, and seeing how completely
he extinguished all her affection at last. The effect of the whole,
however, in spite of all my sympathy for her, and my fury against him,
was to relieve my mind of an intolerable burden, and fill my heart with
joy, as if some friend had roused me from a dreadful nightmare.

It was now near eight o'clock in the morning, for my candle had expired
i