e we not to be
judged according to the deeds done in the body? Where's the use of a
probationary existence, if a man may spend it as he pleases, just
contrary to God's decrees, and then go to heaven with the best--if the
vilest sinner may win the reward of the holiest saint, by merely saying,
"I repent!""'

'"But if you sincerely repent--"

'"I can't repent; I only fear."

'"You only regret the past for its consequences to yourself?"

'"Just so--except that I'm sorry to have wronged you, Nell, because
you're so good to me."

'"Think of the goodness of God, and you cannot but be grieved to have
offended Him."

'"What is God?--I cannot see Him or hear Him.--God is only an idea."

'"God is Infinite Wisdom, and Power, and Goodness--and LOVE; but if this
idea is too vast for your human faculties--if your mind loses itself in
its overwhelming infinitude, fix it on Him who condescended to take our
nature upon Him, who was raised to heaven even in His glorified human
body, in whom the fulness of the Godhead shines."

'But he only shook his head and sighed. Then, in another paroxysm of
shuddering horror, he tightened his grasp on my hand and arm, and,
groaning and lamenting, still clung to me with that wild, desperate
earnestness so harrowing to my soul, because I know I cannot help him. I
did my best to soothe and comfort him.

'"Death is so terrible," he cried, "I cannot bear it! You don't know,
Helen--you can't imagine what it is, because you haven't it before you!
and when I'm buried, you'll return to your old ways and be as happy as
ever, and all the world will go on just as busy and merry as if I had
never been; while I--" He burst into tears.

'"You needn't let that distress you," I said; "we shall all follow you
soon enough."

'"I wish to God I could take you with me now!" he exclaimed: "you should
plead for me."

'"No man can deliver his brother, nor make agreement unto God for him," I
replied: "it cost more to redeem their souls--it cost the blood of an
incarnate God, perfect and sinless in Himself, to redeem us from the
bondage of the evil one:--let Him plead for you."

'But I seem to speak in vain. He does not now, as formerly, laugh these
blessed truths to scorn: but still he cannot trust, or will not
comprehend them. He cannot linger long. He suffers dreadfully, and so
do those that wait upon him. But I will not harass you with further
details: I have said enough, I think, to convince you