her:
forbidden even to assure her of my sympathy, for the transmission of any
such message through Mr. Lawrence was now completely out of the question.

But what should I do? I would wait, and see if she would notice me,
which of course she would not, unless by some kind message intrusted to
her brother, that, in all probability, he would not deliver, and then,
dreadful thought! she would think me cooled and changed for not returning
it, or, perhaps, he had already given her to understand that I had ceased
to think of her. I would wait, however, till the six months after our
parting were fairly passed (which would be about the close of February),
and then I would send her a letter, modestly reminding her of her former
permission to write to her at the close of that period, and hoping I
might avail myself of it--at least to express my heartfelt sorrow for her
late afflictions, my just appreciation of her generous conduct, and my
hope that her health was now completely re-established, and that she
would, some time, be permitted to enjoy those blessings of a peaceful,
happy life, which had been denied her so long, but which none could more
truly be said to merit than herself--adding a few words of kind
remembrance to my little friend Arthur, with a hope that he had not
forgotten me, and perhaps a few more in reference to bygone times, to the
delightful hours I had passed in her society, and my unfading
recollection of them, which was the salt and solace of my life, and a
hope that her recent troubles had not entirely banished me from her mind.
If she did not answer this, of course I should write no more: if she did
(as surely she would, in some fashion), my future proceedings should be
regulated by her reply.

Ten weeks was long to wait in such a miserable state of uncertainty; but
courage! it must be endured! and meantime I would continue to see
Lawrence now and then, though not so often as before, and I would still
pursue my habitual inquiries after his sister, if he had lately heard
from her, and how she was, but nothing more.

I did so, and the answers I received were always provokingly limited to
the letter of the inquiry: she was much as usual: she made no complaints,
but the tone of her last letter evinced great depression of mind: she
said she was better: and, finally, she said she was well, and very busy
with her son's education, and with the management of her late husband's
property, and the regulation of hi