e existing members of the
Bench. They will be expected to dispense with all vacations except a
week at Christmas, five days at Easter, and a fortnight from the first
to the fifteenth of October. They will devote their entire time to the
service of the State, both day and night. Their day will be devoted to
business in the High Court of Justice in the Strand, and when required
they will go Circuit (by special express) sitting at the various
assizes from 9 P.M. until 3 A.M., returning to London by trains timed
to reach the Metropolis sufficiently early to allow of the usual
morning sitting. They will be further required to consider their
leisure (if any) entirely at the disposal of those members of the
Bar and Solicitors who require it. If they do this punctually and
diligently, without knocking up, they will be permitted to draw
salaries computed at the rate of about one-third of the emoluments
received by a third-rate Queen's Counsel; and if they grow lazy, or
are incapacitated by illness, they will be rewarded by a number of
personal attacks in the London newspapers. Applications to be sent
to the Lord Chancellor (endorsed "Extra Judges to suppress outside
clamour") as early as possible. Every candidate for an appointment
will be expected to be as strong as a horse, and as insensible to
feeling as the back of a rhinoceros.

* * * * *

Big Drinkers, Moderate Drinkers, and Little Drinkers--this is the
Tipple Alliance!

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST."--NO. 3.

WHEN HIS DENTIST _WILL_ SUSPEND OPERATIONS TO TELL HIM FUNNY STORIES.]

* * * * *

GILBERT A BECKETT.

BORN, APRIL 7, 1837. DIED, OCT. 15, 1891.

"Wearing the white flower of a blameless life."

TENNYSON.

GILBERT the Good! Title, though high, well earned
By him through whose rare nature brightly burned
The fire of purity,
Undimmed, unflickering, like some altar flame
Sky-pointing ever. Friend, what thought of blame
Hath coldest heart for thee?

A knightly-priest or priestly-knight wert thou,
Man of the radiant eye and reverent brow;
Chivalry closely knit
With fervent faith in thee indeed were blent;
Thought upon high ideals still intent,
And a most lambent wit.

Serene, though with a power of scathing scorn
For all things mean or base. Sorrow long borne,
Though bowing, sou