ect for minerals in the Northern Territories. Whether
they will be interested in them after their experience in England in
failing to locate quarts is another matter.

***

Sir EDWARD ELGAR has dedicated his new orchestral work, "Polonia," to
M. PADEREWSKI. The report that the distinguished pianist-politician is
thinking of retorting with a fugue, "Stiltonia," is not confirmed.

***

The Aircraft Salvage branch announces that not less than one thousand
five hundred yards of the aeroplane linen which is being disposed
of to the public will be sold to one purchaser. In the event of the
purchaser deciding to use it as a pocket-handkerchief he can have it
hemstitched for a trifling sum.

***

Improvement is reported in the condition of the taxi-cab driver who
had a seizure in Piccadilly Circus while attempting to say "Thank you"
to a fare.

***

We are pleased to be able to announce that the Kensington man who last
week managed to board a tube train has consented to write a book about
it.

***

Writing to a contemporary a Leeds correspondent says that he does not
think much of an inactive corporation. As a matter of fact, since the
introduction of rationing we didn't think active ones were being worn.

***

As a result of munition work, says a health journal, quite a number of
men have given up smoking tobacco. We suppose the theory is that they
have now taken to smoking threepenny cigars.

***

Mrs. MAGGIE HATHWAY of Montana is to be congratulated upon running a
six-hundred-acre farm without the help of men's labour. After all we
men must admit that her sporting effort is a distinct score for the
second oldest sex in the world.

***

Anglesea Police Commission are offering one shilling and sixpence a
dozen for rats' tails to residents of the county. Some difficulty is
expected in distinguishing local from imported tails once they are
separated from the rat.

***

In connection with the offers for Drury Lane Theatre it appears that
one of the would-be purchasers declares that he was more syndicate
than sinning.

***

In connection with the epidemic of burglaries in London, _The Daily
Express_ has now published a leader note saying there have been too
many of late. It is hoped that this will have the desired effect.

***

We are glad to report that the gentleman who, at the BURNS festival,
upon being asked if he wou