betrayer's fate, marries the beautiful _Becky Sharp_ and is tried
for bigamy, but is acquitted, as _Becky Sharp_ is proved to have been
already married to an Indian Nabob of the name of _Crawley_. On the
death of _Crawley_, _Becky_ marries the _Marquis of Steyne_, becomes
deeply religious and dies in the odour of sanctity.

"Is marriage a failure?" is the problem of this kaleidoscopic drama,
which is handled with all the author's well-known soulful _verve_.

* * * * *

"SMITH MINOR" AGAIN.

"_Apelles fuit carus Alexandro propter comitate._"
"Apples were dear in the days of Alexander on account
of the Committee." (? Food Controller.)

* * * * *

"A resolution was passed requesting the responsible local
authority to provide thirty new houses in accordance
with the Local Government Board's scheme. The houses
required were--first, those which were unfit for human
habitation."--_Sussex Paper_.

And, to judge by some of the fantastic designs for rural cottages
published in the newspapers, those are what they will probably get.

* * * * *
[Illustration: THE ORDER OF RELEASE.

PIVOTAL PIG (_demobilised_). "SO LONG, LEAGUE OF RATIONS, SEE YOU
LATER."]

* * * * *

THE REAL DALRYMPLE.

You would feel quite uncomfortable if you heard Dalrymple talk. He
conveys the impression that everything is badly in the way and ought
to be removed at once. That's his view. Dalrymple has no patience with
the social system. This includes everything, from the washing bill to
the House of Commons.

Dalrymple said the General Election made him impatient. By the way,
Dalrymple is a fine upstanding personage, with just the coloured
hair the lady novelists dote on, and eyes in harmony; but despite his
handsome placid bearing Dalrymple is a fire-eater of the hungriest.

"What you want to do is to make a clean sweep of everything," he said.
"Money is an anachronism, and in a perfectly ordered State would not
be required."

Of course it is no more use arguing with Dalrymple than it would be
to attempt a controversy on naval affairs with Lord Nelson on his
pedestal.

And then there is this about Dalrymple--you remember what some Court
poet said concerning Louis THE FOURTEENTH; it was to the effect that
_quand le Roi parle_--well, apparently everything and everybody else
had to put