anent exclusion from all appointments under the
Crown. "That makes a tidy gap in the wire," says William hopefully.
"They won't even be able to make a postman of me. With a bit of luck
I'll dodge the unofficial jobs--I get that holiday after all, old
bean."

* * * * *

"HUNTING. THE DANGER OF KICKING HORSES."--_Times._

Generally the shoe is on the other foot.

* * * * *

"The Falkirk iron fitters, by an overwhelming majority, have
opposed the forty-hour week and have agreed to a forty-four
hour week."--_Provincial Paper_.

Bravo, Falkirk!

* * * * *

"The announcement of the augmentation of the British beet
in the Mediterranean appeared exclusively in the 'Sunday
Express.'"--_Daily Express_.

It doesn't seem anything to boast about.

* * * * *

"WANTED.--On a farm, two capable European young or
middle-aged girls."--_South African Paper_.

There are lots of girls answering this description, but the difficulty
is that most of them are too shy to admit it.

* * * * *

"M. Clemenceau ... speaks English with rare perfection,
having spent years in the United States."--_Daily Paper_.

"M. Clemenceau, speaking in excellent English, said
'Yes.'"--_Sunday Paper_.

What he really said, of course, was "Yep."

* * * * *

QUESTION AND ANSWER.

"What _are_ you, Sir?" the Counsel roared.
The timid witness said, "My Lord,
A Season-ticket holder I
Where London's southern suburbs lie."
"Tut, tut," his Lordship made demur,
"He meant what is your business, Sir."
The witness sighed and shook his head,
"I get no time for that," he said.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SERVICE EVOLUTION. BUD. BLOSSOM. FRUIT.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Guest_ (_who has cut the cloth_). "BILLIARDS REQUIRE
CONSTANT PRACTICE."]

* * * * *

ANOTHER CRISIS.

(_BY A FUTILITY RABBIT KEEPER_.)

There is a rabbit in the pansy bed,
There is a burrow underneath the wall,
There is a rabbit everywhere you tread,
To-day I heard a rabbit in the hall,
The same that sits at evening in my shoes
And sings his usefulness, or simply chews;
There is no corner sacred to the