spirits department, direct repairs, capable buyer,
general manager, organiser and foreman. Must be thorough
accountant, capable of directing office and branch work,
conversant with income-tax and excess profits duty practice.
Able to drive, or willing to learn a 4-ton Commer lorry,
must be motor-cyclist to visit branches, and manage
public-houses. Absolutely essential to understand and
drive oil engines.--Further particulars apply ---- and
Sons."--_Daily Paper_.

What we chiefly miss is any information as to how the man is to fill
up his spare time.

* * * * *

"ITALIAN SPELLING.

"There are to be streets in Athens named after President Wilson
and after Mr. Lloyd George. In the 'Patris,' an Athens paper,
we read that 'Wilson' is spelt 'Ouilson,' whilst 'George' is
Tzortz,' 'Bonar Law' is 'Mponar Lo.'"--_Birmingham Mail_.

We bow to our contemporary's erudition, but we confess it all looks
Greek to us.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PROGRESSIVE WEIGHT-LIFTER.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Betty_. "MUMMY, DOES GOD SEND US OUR FOOD?"

_Mother_. "YES, DEAR; OF COURSE HE DOES."

_Betty_. "BUT WHAT A PRICE!"]

* * * * *

ALL THE TALENTS.

Now that hostilities are at an end it is thought by many intelligent
young subalterns that a little variety might well be introduced into
Army routine.

For instance, at a General's Inspection why should not Officers'
duties be allotted after this fashion?--

The Commanding Officer will bind up the Second-in-Command with a
length of red tape, showing that no escape is possible from this
form of entanglement.

The Adjutant will give an exhibition of paper manipulation, using
various Army Forms for this purpose.

The Assistant-Adjutant will demonstrate how a morning's work may be
made of the changing of a pen-nib, while still creating an impression
of devoted industry.

The Messing Officer will fry a fillet of sole by means of haybox
cookery, and during the process will publicly skin a ration rabbit
in such a way that not the slightest depreciation is caused in the
value of 21/2d. attached to a rabbit-skin.

The Officer i/e Demobilisation will demobilise you while you wait
(provided you can wait long enough).

The Quartermaster will make a model of Hampton Court Maze,
illustrative of the int