had no castor oil;
While as to Infusions, they've long taken wings,
And they'd think you quite mad for prescribing such things.

The fashion to-day is a tincture so strong,
That, if dosing yourself, you are sure to go wrong.
What men learnt in the past they say brings them no pelf,
And the well-tried old remedies rest on the shelf.
But the patient may haply exclaim, "Don't be rash,
Lest your new-fangled physic should settle my hash!"

* * * * *

"TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR!"--Professor JOHN TYNDALL wrote to T.W.
RUSSELL last week commencing:--"Here, in the Alps, at the height of
more than 7,000 feet above the sea, have I read your letter to the
_Times_ on 'the War in Tipperary.'" Prodigious! "7,000 feet" up in the
air. "How's that for high?" as the Americans say. How misty his views
must be in this cloudland--and that the Professor's writing should be
above the heads of the people, goes without saying.

* * * * *

[Illustration]

FEMALE ATHLETICISM.--If Ladies go in for "the gloves," not as
formerly by the coward's blow on the lips of a sleeping victim--often
uncommonly wide-awake--the noble art of self-defence can be taught
under the head of "Millin-ery."

* * * * *

"CHANGE OF AIR--WANTED," by a party much broken up, a new tune to
replace the "_Boulanger March_!" If the new tune cannot be found, we
can at least suggest a change of title for the old one. So, instead
of "_En revenant de la Revue_," let it be "_En revant a la Revue_."
It should commence brilliantly, then intermediate variations, in which
sharps and flats would play a considerable part, and, finally, after a
chromatic scale, down not up, of accidentals, it should finish in the
minor _rallentando diminuendo_, and end like the comic overture (whose
we forget--HAYDN'S?), where all the performers sneak off, and the
conductor is left alone in his glory.

* * * * *

The British Fire Brigade representatives took with them a dog, to be
presented to President CARNOT. Why only one dog? Two fire-dogs are to
be found on the hearth of every old French Chateau. Why only half do
it?

* * * * *

[Illustration: ADDING INSULT TO INJURY.

_Brown_ (_whose prize St. Bernard has just snatched a fillet of Veal
from a Butcher's slab_). "HI! COME AND TAKE YOUR CONFOUNDED MEAT AWAY
FROM HIM!