moved, "That this Mass-meeting pledges itself to support the
efforts of Messrs. ---- & Co.'s men, by joining the Union, and further
pledges itself to take all legal efforts to prevent anyone obtaining a
job there so long as the dispute lasts." The resolution was carried by
acclamation.

_Coroner_. How is it the child's father cannot get work? _Witness_.
Because he has no Union card. _Coroner_. Then if men do not belong
to the different Trades Unions they must starve.--_Coroner's Inquest
Report_.]

* * * * *

ALL VERY VINE!

(_WITH ACKNOWLEDGMENTS TO THE WHITE KNIGHT IN "THROUGH THE
LOOKING-GLASS."_)

["One of the most interesting exhibits (at the Royal
Horticultural Society's Grape and Dahlia Show at Chiswick)
were clusters of grapes with the scent and taste of
strawberries and raspberries, as grown in Transatlantic
hothouses."--_Daily Paper_.]

I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate:
I met a simple citizen
Of some "United State."
"Who are you, simple man?" I said,
"And how is it you live?"
And his answer seemed quite 'cute from one
So shy and sensitive.

He said, "I make electric cats
That prowl upon the leads,
To prey upon the brutes who raise
Mad music o'er our heads.
I also make all sorts of things
Which much convenience give;
In fact, I'm an inventor spry,
And that is how I live.

"And I am thinking of a plan
For artificial hens,
And automatic dairy-maids,
And self-propelling pens."
"Such things are stale," I made reply,
"They're old, and flat, and thin.
Tell me the last thing in your pate,
Or I will cave it in!"

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, "I've tried to make
A sirloin out of turnips, and
A vegetable steak."
I shook him well, from side to side,
To stimulate his brain;
"You've got some newer dodge," I cried,
"And that you must explain."

He said, "I always willingly
Do anything to please.
What do you say to growing grapes
That taste like strawberr-ees!
They're showing off at Chiswick now,
As I a sinner am,
Some big black Hamburgs which, when pressed,
Taste just like raspberry jam."

So now whene'er I drink a glass
Of wine that seems like rum,
Or peel myself an orange that
Reminds me of a plum,
Or if I come across a peach
With flavour like a bilberry,
I we