ep, for it reminds me so
Of Chiswick's Grape and Dahlia Show,
And that 'cute man I used to know,
Who could at will transform a sloe
Into a thing with the aro-
-ma of all fruits known here below,
From apricot to mulberry.

* * * * *

NATIVE GROWTH.

According to a case about oysters--instead of a case, it ought to have
been a barrel--heard before Mr. Alderman WILKIN,--and as the case may
be still _sub-Aldermanice_, we have nothing to say as to its merits
or demerits,--it appears, that in September, 1889, the price of Royal
Whitstable Natives was 14s. per 100; i.e., 1s. 3d. for a baker's dozen
of thirteen. Though why a baker should be allowed "a little one in,"
be it oysters or anything else, only Heaven and the erudite Editor of
_Notes and Queries_ know. But, without further allusion to the baker,
who has just dropped in accidentally as he did into the conversation
between _Mrs. Bardell_ and _Mrs. Cluppins_, when _Sam Weller_
joined in, and they all "got a talking," it is enough to make any
oyster-lover's mouth water--no doubt the worthy Alderman's did
water,--did water "like WILKIN!"--to hear that while everybody,
including the worthy Alderman aforesaid, was paying 2s. 6d., and 3s.,
and even 3s. 6d. for real Natives, some people were gratifying their
molluscous tastes at the small charge of One Shilling and Threepence
for thirteen, or were getting six oysters and a half--the half be
demm'd--for sixpence. Long time is it since we paid 1s. 3d. for Real
Royal Natives. They may have left Whitstable at that price, but they
never came to our Wits' Table at anything like that figure. Still,
to the truly Christian mind it is pleasant, if not consoling, to know
that some of our fellow-creatures, not generally so well-favoured
as ourselves, should have been able to take advantage of the most
favoured Native clause in the Oyster Season of 1889.

*** By the way, in answer to a Correspondent, who signs himself "AN
ARTFUL DREDGER, WHO WISHES TO LIVE OUT OF TOWN," we beg to inform him
that "Beds" is _not_ a county specially celebrated for oysters.

* * * * *

BREAKING A _RECORD_ ON A WHEEL!

Break, break, break!
On thy "Safety" swift, oh, "crack!"
And I would that my tongue could utter
My thoughts on the cyclist's track.

Oh, well for MECREDY, the "bhoy,"
That "records" for him won't stay;
And well for OSMOND and WOOD
Th