spache), "was sint
his Majesty's arrand to cultivate the friendship of Prince Lee Boo in
Botteney Bay! O, Bryan dear," says he, letting on to cry, "if you were
alive to hear a _boddagh Sassenagh_ like this casting up his counthry to
me ov the name ov Maguire."

"In the name ov God," says the Pope, very solemniously, "what _is_ the
maning ov all this at all at all?" says he.

"Sure," says his Riv'rence, whispering to him across the table,--"sure,
you know we're acting a conthrawarsy, and you tuck the part ov the
Prodesan champion. You wouldn't be angry wid me, I'm sure, for sarving
out the heretic to the best ov my ability."

"O begad, I had forgot," says the Pope, the good-natured ould crethur;
"sure enough, you were only taking your part as a good Milesian Catholic
ought agin the heretic Sassenagh. Well," says he, "fire away now, and
I'll put up wid as many conthroversial compliments as you plase to pay
me."

"Well, then, answer me my question, you santimonious ould dandy," says
his Riv'rence.

"In troth, then," says the Pope, "I dunna which 'ud be the biggest lie,
to my mind," says he; "the one appears to be about as big a bounce as
the other."

"Why, then, you poor simpleton," says his Riv'rence, "don't you persave
that forbye the advantage the gandher 'ud have in the length ov his
neck, it 'ud be next to empossible for the turkey-cock lying thataway to
see what he was about, by rason ov his djollars and other accouthrements
hanging back over his eyes? The one about as big a bounce as the other!
O you misfortunate crethur! if you had ever larned your A B C in
theology, you'd have known that there's a differ betuxt them two lies so
great, that, begad, I wouldn't wondher if it 'ud make a balance ov five
years in purgathory to the sowl that 'ud be in it. Ay, and if it wasn't
that the Church is too liberal entirely, so she is, it 'ud cost his
heirs and succissors betther nor ten pounds to have him out as soon as
the other. Get along, man, and take half a year at dogmatical theology:
go and read your Dens, you poor dunce, you!"

"Raaly," says the Pope, "you're making the heretic shoes too hot to
hould me. I wundher how the Prodesans can stand afore you at all."

"Don't think to delude me," says his Riv'rence, "don't think to back out
ov your challenge now," says he, "but come to the scratch like a man, if
you are a man, and answer me my question. What's the rason, now, that
Julius Caesar and the Vargin Mary was