oing down with us to Bath and immortality would not
kiss either of the ladies opposite upon the road. "Done, done!" Now I am
sorry a man I have hitherto praised should have lent himself, even in a
whisper, to such a speculation; "but nobody is wise at all hours," not
even when the clock is striking five and twenty; and you are to consider
his profession, his good looks, and the temptation--ten to three.

After Slough the party was reduced to three; at Twylford one lady
dropped her handkerchief; Captain Dolignan fell on it like a lamb; two
or three words were interchanged on this occasion. At Reading the
Marlborough of our tale made one of the safe investments of that day, he
bought a Times and Punch; the latter full of steel-pen thrusts and
woodcuts. Valor and beauty deigned to laugh at some inflamed humbug or
other punctured by Punch. Now laughing together thaws our human ice;
long before Swindon it was a talking match--at Swindon who so devoted as
Captain Dolignan?--he handed them out--he souped them--he
tough-chickened them--he brandied and cochinealed one, and he brandied
and burnt-sugared the other; on their return to the carriage, one lady
passed into the inner compartment to inspect a certain gentleman's seat
on that side of the line.

Reader, had it been you or I, the beauty would have been the deserter,
the average one would have stayed with us till all was blue, ourselves
included; not more surely does our slice of bread and butter, when it
escapes from our hand, revolve it ever so often, alight face downward on
the carpet. But this was a bit of a fop, Adonis, dragoon,--so Venus
remained in _tete-a-tete_ with him. You have seen a dog meet an unknown
female of his species; how handsome, how _empresse_, how expressive he
becomes; such was Dolignan after Swindon, and to do the dog justice, he
got handsome and handsomer; and you have seen a cat conscious of
approaching cream,--such was Miss Haythorn; she became demurer and
demurer; presently our captain looked out of the window and laughed;
this elicited an inquiring look from Miss Haythorn.

"We are only a mile from the Box Tunnel."

"Do you always laugh a mile from the Box Tunnel?" said the lady.

"Invariably."

"What for?"

"Why, hem! it is a gentleman's joke."

Captain Dolignan then recounted to Miss Haythorn the following:--

"A lady and her husband sat together going through the Box
Tunnel,--there was one gentleman opposite; it was pitch dark: afte