"Nay, nay, Lord Judge, as they call thee,--hold a bit; I know better
than that. Catch Johnny Darbyshire at flinging his money into a lawyer's
bag! No, no. I know them chaps wi' wigs well enough. They've tongues as
long as a besom's teal, and fingers as long to poke after 'em. Nay, nay,
I don't get my money so easily as to let them scrape it up by armfuls.
I've worked early and late, in heat and cold, for my bit o' money, and
long enough too, before these smart chaps had left their mother's
apron-strings; and let them catch a coin of it, if they can. No! I know
this case better than any other man can, and for why? Because I was in
it. It was me that had the mare to summer; it was me that rode her to
the doctor; I was in at th' breaking of th' leg, and, for that reason, I
can tell you exactly how it all happened. And what's any of those
counsellors,--sharp, and fine, and knowing as they look, with their
tails and their powder,--what are they to know about the matter, except
what somebody'd have to tell 'em first? I tell you, I saw it, I did it,
and so there needs no twice telling of the story."

"But are you going to produce evidence?" inquired the counsel for the
other side.

"Evidence? to be sure I am. What does the chap mean? Evidence? why, I'm
defender and evidence and all!"

There was a good deal of merriment in the court, and at the bar, in
which the judge himself joined.

"There wants no evidence besides me; for, as I tell you, I did it, and
I'm not going to deny it."

"Stop!" cried the judge; "this is singular. If Mr. Darbyshire means to
plead his own cause, and to include in it his evidence, he must be
sworn. Let the oath be administered to him."

"Nay, I reckon thou need put none of thy oaths to me! My father never
brought me up to cursing and swearing, and such like wickedness. He left
that to th' ragamuffins and rapscallions i' th' street. I'm no swearer,
nor liar neither,--thou may take my word safe enough."

"Let him take his affirmation, if he be a member of the Society of
Friends."

"Ay, now thou speaks sense, Lord Judge. Ay, I'm a member, I warrant me."

The clerk of the court here took his affirmation, and then Johnny
proceeded.

"Well, I don't feel myself any better or any honester now for making
that affirmation. I was just going to tell the plain truth before, and I
can only tell th' same now. And, as I said, I'm not going to deny what
I've done. No! Johnny Darbyshire's not the man tha