m home--I would not lose him for fifty
pounds. I must take him back--pray put me ashore. This is very
provoking--though he is _a very quiet dog_!"

There was no mistaking this hint. Already were there two nuisances on
board,--Master Charles and the Dutch pug: but as they were to choose
between Jack Richards with his dog, or no Jack Richards (or in other
words, no life and soul of the party), it was presently decided that
Carlo should be invited to a seat on the hampers, which were stowed at
the head of the boat,--Uncle John having first extracted from Mr.
Richards an assurance that their new guest would lie there as still as a
mouse. This complaisance was amply rewarded by a speedy display of Mr.
Richards's powers of entertainment. As soon as they reached the middle
of the river Jack Richards suddenly jumped up, for the purpose of
frightening Miss Snubbleston; a jest at which everybody else would have
laughed, had not their own lives been endangered by it. Even his great
admirer suggested to him that once of that was enough. His next joke was
one of a more intellectual character. Though he had never till this day
seen Sir Thomas, he had accidentally heard something about his former
trade.

"What is the difference between Lord Eldon and Sir Thomas Grouts?"
Nobody could tell.

"One is an ex-chancellor,--the other is an ex-chandler." Everybody
laughed, except the Grouts family.

This was succeeded by another thrust in Uncle John's side; after which
came a pun, which we shall not record, as the effect of it was to force
the ladies to cough and look into the water, the gentlemen to look at
each other, and Mrs. Snodgrass to whisper to Mrs. Bagshaw,--

"Who _is_ this Mr. Richards?"

Indeed, there would have been no end to his pleasantries had they not
been interrupted by a request that Miss Corinna would open the concert,
as they were fast approaching Vauxhall Bridge. Mr. Bagshaw (looking at
the programme, which he had drawn out on paper ruled with red and blue
lines) objected to this, as it would disturb the previous arrangement,
according to which the concert was not to commence till they were
_through_ the bridge. This objection was overruled, and the fair Corinna
unrolled the music, for which the servant had been despatched with so
much haste. Miss Corinna screamed. What was the matter?

"They had not sent the grand scena from Medea, after all, but a wrong
piece!" And the pains she had taken to be perfect in it!