ir.
Her two little ones were to be as Cupids by her side, while I, with my
gown and band, was to present her with my books on the Whistonian
controversy. Olivia would be drawn as an Amazon, sitting upon a bank of
flowers, dressed in a green Joseph richly laced with gold, and a whip in
her hand. Sophia was to be a shepherdess, with as many sheep as the
painter could put in for nothing; and Moses was to be dressed out with
an hat and white feather. Our taste so much pleased the 'squire, that he
insisted on being put in as one of the family, in the character of
Alexander the Great, at Olivia's feet. This was considered by us all as
an indication of his desire to be introduced into the family, nor could
we refuse his request. The painter was therefore set to work, and as he
wrought with assiduity and expedition, in less than four days the whole
was completed. The piece was large, and it must be owned he did not
spare his colors; for which my wife gave him great encomiums. We were
all perfectly satisfied with his performance; but an unfortunate
circumstance had not occurred till the picture was finished, which now
struck us with dismay. It was so very large that we had no place in the
house to fix it. How we all came to disregard so material a point is
inconceivable; but certain it is, we had been all greatly remiss. The
picture, therefore, instead of gratifying our vanity, as we hoped,
leaned, in a most mortifying manner, against the kitchen wall, where the
canvas was stretched and painted, much too large to be got through any
of the doors, and the jest of all our neighbors. One compared it to
Robinson Crusoe's long-boat, too large to be removed; another thought it
more resembled a reel in a bottle; some wondered how it could be got
out, but still more were amazed how it ever got in.

But though it excited the ridicule of some, it effectually raised more
malicious suggestions in many. The 'squire's portrait being found united
with ours, was an honor too great to escape envy. Scandalous whispers
began to circulate at our expense, and our tranquillity was continually
disturbed by persons who came as friends to tell us what was said of us
by enemies. These reports we always resented with becoming spirit; but
scandal ever improves by opposition.

We once again therefore entered into a consultation upon obviating the
malice of our enemies, and at last came to a resolution which had too
much cunning to give me entire satisfactio