you endeavor to make yourself so disagreeable
to me, and thwart me in every little elegant expense?
_Sir Pet._ Madam, I say, had you any of these little elegant expenses
when you married me?
_Lady Teaz._ Sir Peter! would you have me be out of the fashion?
_Sir Pet._ The fashion, indeed! what had you to do with the fashion
before you married me?
_Lady Teaz._ For my part, I should think you would like to have your
wife thought a woman of taste.
_Sir Pet._ Ay--there again--taste! Zounds! madam, you had no taste when
you married me!
_Lady Teaz._ That's very true, indeed, Sir Peter! and after having
married you, I should never pretend to taste again, I allow. But now,
Sir Peter, since we have finished our daily jangle, I presume I may go
to my engagement at Lady Sneerwell's.
_Sir Pet._ Ay, there's another precious circumstance--a charming set of
acquaintances you have made there!
_Lady Teaz._ Nay, Sir Peter, they are all people of rank and fortune,
and remarkably tenacious of reputation.
_Sir Pet._ Yes, they are tenacious of reputation with a vengeance; for
they don't choose anybody should have a character but themselves! Such a
crew! Ah! many a wretch has rid on a hurdle who has done less mischief
than these utterers of forged tales; coiners of scandal, and clippers of
reputation.
_Lady Teaz._ What, would you restrain the freedom of speech?
_Sir Pet._ Ah! they have made you just as bad as any one of the society.
_Lady Teaz._ Why, I believe I do bear a part with a tolerable grace.
_Sir Pet._ Grace, indeed!
_Lady Teaz._ But I vow I bear no malice against the people I abuse; when
I say an ill-natured thing, 'tis out of pure good humor; and I take it
for granted they deal exactly in the same manner with me. But, Sir
Peter, you know you promised to come to Lady Sneerwell's too.
_Sir Pet._ Well, well, I'll call in, just to look after my own
character.
_Lady Teaz._ Then, indeed, you must make haste after me, or you'll be
too late. So good-bye to ye. [_Exit._
_Sir Pet._ So--I have gained much by my intended expostulation! Yet with
what a charming air she contradicts everything I say; and how pleasantly
she shows her contempt for my authority! Well, though I can't make her
love me; there is great satisfaction in quarrelling with her; and I
think she never appears to such advantage as when she is doing
everything in her power to plague me. [_Exit_.
SCENE.--_A room in_ LADY SNEERWE
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