d have it put down by parliament.

_Sir Pet._ Positively, madam, if they were to consider the sporting with
reputation of as much importance as poaching on manors, and pass an act
for the preservation of fame, as well as game, I believe many would
thank them for the bill.

_Lady Sneer._ Why! Sir Peter; would you deprive us of our privileges?

_Sir Pet._ Ay, madam; and then no person should be permitted to kill
characters and run down reputations but qualified old maids and
disappointed widows.

_Lady Sneer._ Go, you monster!

_Mrs. Can._ But, surely, you would not be quite so severe on those who
only report what they hear?

_Sir Pet._ Yes, madam, I would have law merchant for them too; and in
all cases of slander currency, whenever the drawer of the lie was not to
be found, the injured parties should have a right to come on any of the
indorsers.

_Crab._ Well, for my part, I believe there never was a scandalous tale
without some foundation.

_Lady Sneer._ Come, ladies, shall we sit down to cards in the next room?

_Enter_ Servant, _who whispers_ Sir Peter.

_Sir Pet._ I'll be with them directly.--[_Exit_ SERVANT.] I'll get away
unperceived. [_Aside._

_Lady Sneer._ Sir Peter, you are not going to leave us?

_Sir Pet._ Your ladyship must excuse me; I'm called away by particular
business. But I leave my character behind me. [_Exit._

_Sir Ben._ Well--certainly, Lady Teazle, that lord of yours is a strange
being: I could tell you some stories of him would make you laugh
heartily if he were not your husband.

_Lady Teaz._ Oh, pray, don't mind that; come, do let's hear
them. [_Exeunt all but_ JOSEPH SURFACE _and_ MARIA.

_Jos. Surf._ Maria, I see you have no satisfaction in this society.

_Mar._ How is it possible I should? If to raise malicious smiles at the
infirmities or misfortunes of those who have never injured us be the
province of wit or humor, Heaven grant me a double portion of dulness!

_Jos. Surf._ Yet they appear more ill-natured than they are; they have
no malice at heart.

_Mar._ Then is their conduct still more contemptible; for, in my
opinion, nothing could excuse the intemperance of their tongues but a
natural and uncontrollable bitterness of mind.

FOOTNOTES:

[G] For the sake of brevity a part of the first scene has been
excised. It subsequently appears that Lady Teazle abandons the
society of the scandal-mongers, and she and her fond but somewhat
irascible husband