I shall manfully resist,
I'm afraid they'll soon have got another Rink upon their list.

When invited to a party I'm invariably late,
For I waste the time in efforts to conceal my peeping pate--
Though I coax my hair across it--though I brush away for weeks,
Yet I _can't_ prevent it parting and dividing into streaks!

I have tried a Hair Restorer, and I've rubbed my head with rum,
But the thatch keeps getting thinner, and the new hair doesn't come--
So I gaze into the mirror with a gloomy, vacant stare,
For the circle's getting wider of that Open Space up there!

People tell me that my spirits I must not allow to fall.
And that coming generations won't have any hair at all--
Well--they'll never know an anguish that can adequately match
With the pangs of watching day by day the thinning of your Thatch!

* * * * *

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End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol.
101, December 19, 1891, by Various

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