cryin', 'cause now he von't get
JACK JUNK to run head over ears in his debt,
Vid his Vill and his Power, lest he shouldn't come back.
By vay of insurin' de life of poor JACK.

Vot a shame o' them Christianth our hopes to ecthite,
And then for to cruth 'em, and not have no fight!--
Just ven as ve'd made up our mouths for the meat--
Pretty Christianth! I thpose you don't call this no sheat!

* * * * *

THE BILL OF THE SESSION.

A more important Bill than any which has been introduced into Parliament
this Session remains to be brought forward. That is, the Bill of
National Expenses, including the baker's bill, which will have been
incurred on account of the paper war with Russia.

* * * * *

OUR HONEYMOON.

MONDAY, MAY 27, 18--

"TOM'S a good fellow,"--said FREDERICK, when he got to bed.

"I don't want to hear anything of TOM now," said I; for suddenly I felt
as if I could have--well, I don't know what; but I _did_ for the minute
almost hate the man.

"He goes very early to-morrow. By the first coach, love. I've promised
to see him off."

"How very kind of you, FRED;" and I could almost have cried, he seemed
as if it was so easy for him to try to deceive me. "Going to see him
off? Then--for it's very late; for my part, I thought the man would
never go--then you'd better go to sleep, FRED; that you may be up.
Otherwise you'll be very tired, dear; very tired."

"Think so?" said FRED, trying to be cool: for I knew it was only trying.
"Think so?"

"I'm sure so," said I, worried and restless and vexed: not that I
stirred.

"Well, then, love, good night," said FRED.

"Good night," said I, very short; though I felt as if my heart would
break.

I lay and listened, with the door-key under my pillow; and my pillow
well under my shoulders. That key I was determined should never leave
me: I'd make sure of _that_, and I grasped it to be certain it was
there. Then I listened again. He was not asleep; I was sure of that;
though he lay as still as any baby, and tried to seem asleep. Very well,
thought I; very well; you shall not outwake me: no--I'll watch like any
owl. At least like any guardian spirit.

And to think that FRED--my own FREDERICK, with one heart between us, as
he's so often said--could lie there; yes, by my very side, and have a
secret and keep it from me--well, I did begin to think that dear Mamma
was right; and I've heard