as to rap out its
ideas on the subject of an agricultural implement, for which a prize has
been awarded by the Royal Agricultural Society, and which rejoices in
the name of a Dynamometer. Respecting this new-fangled invention,
however, it would not, perhaps, be correct to print all the expressions
which the worthy but possibly rather prejudiced spirit might "rap out."

* * * * *

JEWISH DISABILITIES!

TOM DUNCOMBE thanks his stars that the Jews never can come into
Parliament, as it will be a matter of impossibility for them to swallow
the immense quantity of _gammon_ there is in the House.

* * * * *

WHAT "CAN" THE POLICE BE ABOUT?

A wretched creature who hangs about the _Punch_ Office thrust the
following indescribable piece of nonsense under the door:

"When is the weather favourable to Haymaking? When it 'rains
pitchforks.'"

There! and yet we pay a police rate of two shillings and twopence in the
pound.

* * * * *

A MISTAKE IN ALL THE MAPS.

Whatever geographers may say, in order that the combined fleets may
enter the Dardanelles, they must get out of the Pacific.

* * * * *

[Illustration: EFFECT OF THE CAB STRIKE.--GOING TO THE OPERA IN A
WHEELBARROW.]

* * * * *

THE LAMENT OF THE PORTSMOUTH SLOPSELLER.

Pretty Christianth! No war! Dey von't fight after all!
Pretty Christianth, nice Christianth, dese nations I call
Dey promith'd so fair to cut each others' throatsh,
And dey're goin' to thettle de shquabble by notesh!

Not a goin' to fight!--and deir quarrel arose
About deir religionth--not comin' to blows!
Dere never was Christianth behaved so afore,
But who's to depend on 'em now, any more?

Here'th we bin' a goin' and thtockin' our thopth,
And what shall we do now wid all dem old thlopth
Wid which all our thelvth and our vinders is filled--
No war, nor no actionth, nor no theamen killed?

Vat customers is dere dem vatcheth vill buy,
As ve've got for the thailorth--dem vatcheth to fry?
Dem jewels, rings, thatins, and thilks, all in store
Agin JACK with prizemoney comin' athore?

And vere's all de monish ve thought good as made
In other thmall vays of rethpectable trade,
Such as lodgin' and board for de tars to provide,
And p'raps a few thlight 'commodations bethide?

Dere's JACOBTH a