GARATE OF GLYCERINE' is not so pretty as her name--she's
FAT."

* * * * *

MR. PETERLOO BROWN'S EXAMINATION OF THE OXFORD STATUTES.

"DEAR MR. PUNCH,

"I appeal to you in a case of difficulty, and trust that my familiarity
will not beget your contempt. My name is BROWN: not an uncommon surname,
perhaps, but I am distinguished by my Christian name of PETERLOO. My
eldest lad is called after me, and it is in his behalf, _Mr. Punch_,
that I crave your advice. He is at present an Eton _boy_, but he will
soon be ready to be an Oxford _man_, and I am now looking forward to his
matriculation. You are, doubtless, Sir, aware that every one who goes
through that form has to subscribe to certain oaths and conditions,
before he can be admitted to the privileges of the University. I myself
never had the benefit of a University education, but I am well aware how
it helps a man to gain a position in society--a position which my rapid
rise to fortune has only in part secured to me; for there are, _Mr.
Punch_, aristocrats by birth, who turn up their noses at us aristocrats
by wealth, and yet will stoop to----however, to return to my son. I am
determined that _he_ shall not want for advantages; but, as I have a
certain sort of squeamishness about a person taking oaths that he does
not know the meaning of, and swearing to observe statutes of whose
nature he is unaware, I sent to Oxford for a copy of the University
Statutes, that I might run my eye over them, and see what were the laws
that governed the noble, the great, the famous, the--in short, the
enlightened place, the University of Oxford. The book is now before
me:--'_Parecbolae sive Excerpta e corpore Statutorum Universitatis
Oxoniensis_:' and a copy is, I believe, presented to every undergraduate
at his matriculation, that he may be fully aware of the laws that he has
sworn to obey. The Statutes I find to be written in a Latin form--I
cannot say, in a _dead_ language, for it is of a kind very much
resembling the living, and of that description vulgarly termed 'Dog'
Latin; so that I, who never got further than _Eutropius_, and whose
acquaintance with the language has become rusty from want of use, can
easily make out a translation of the sentences. I find that my son will
have to sign the Thirty-nine Articles, which, I dare say, is all very
proper; take the Oath of Allegiance, which is quite right; and also, the
Oath of Supremacy, in which he will