he waiter's face came to
be artistically corked and otherwise taken liberties with; and when he
narrates other anecdotes of a like pleasant nature, I must suppose that
he takes me for a Marine, and tells his tales accordingly. For it is
very evident to all sensible persons, that when the authorities require
the students to swear _not_ to do these things, and to receive certain
punishments if they do them, that they would be strict in enforcing the
Statute, and would not tamely suffer either thoughtless undergraduates
to break their oaths, or the unfortunate tavern and shop-keepers, and
vendors of the herb Nicotiana, to run a risk of fines and loss of
custom. Would they, _Mr. Punch_? I should rayther think not, says

"Your Constant Reader, PETERLOO BROWN."

* * * * *

A BARE POSSIBILITY.--The Russian Bear keeping the peace in Europe for
long.

* * * * *

THE DOOM OF WESTMINSTER BRIDGE.

The Act has at length passed for the total destruction of Westminster
Bridge, and another bridge is to succeed, which, if it is really to
succeed, must be as unlike as possible to the existing bridge, which has
been a complete failure. The career of this bridge has been downward
from the first, and its continuance has been a phenomenon similar to
that which is illustrated by the old saying that "a creaking door hangs
long upon the hinges." Westminster Bridge has been, as long as we can
remember, "going, going, going," and it has been a matter of constant
wonder that it had never yet "gone." We have never on traversing it been
able to look back upon it with the respect due to "the bridge that
carries us safely over," for we have always felt that the safety was due
rather to good fortune than to any merit the bridge itself had to rest
upon.

We cannot help feeling delighted that an act of Parliament will at last
put this unhappy old bridge out of its misery, instead of sanctioning
the further infliction of the painful operations to which it has been
subjected. The poor old bridge is no longer to be maimed and mutilated,
but it is to be made away with once and for ever. It has already
undergone the process of trepanning, by having something removed from
its crown, and it has long ago been able to boast of nothing better than
wooden legs, by the process of giving it timbers to stand upon, as well
as wooden arms, by the substitution of wood-work for its old original
balustr