u are to hear 'in all time of our tribulation, in all time of
our wealth ... at the hour of death, and'--

If I did not _know_ this was so,--nothing would have been said, or
sought for. Your friendship, the perfect pride in it, the wish for,
and eager co-operation in, your welfare, all that is different, and,
seen now, nothing.

I will care for it no more, dearest--I am wedded to you now. I believe
no human being could love you more--that thought consoles me for my
own imperfection--for when _that_ does strike me, as so often it will,
I turn round on my pursuing self, and ask 'What if it were a claim
then, what is in Her, demanded rationally, equitably, in return for
what were in you--do you like _that_ way!'--And I do _not_, Ba--you,
even, might not--when people everyday buy improveable ground, and
eligible sites for building, and don't want every inch filled up,
covered over, done to their hands! So take me, and make me what you
can and will--and though never to be _more_ yours, yet more _like_
you, I may and must be--Yes, indeed--best, only love!

And am I not grateful to your sisters--entirely grateful for that
crowning comfort; it is 'miraculous,' too, if you please--for _you_
shall know me by finger-tip intelligence or any art magic of old or
new times--but they do not see me, know me--and must moreover be
jealous of you, chary of you, as the daughters of Hesperus, of
wonderers and wistful lookers up at the gold apple--yet instead of
'rapidly levelling eager eyes'--they are indulgent? Then--shall I wish
capriciously they were _not_ your sisters, not so near you, that there
might be a kind of grace in loving them for it'--but what grace can
there be when ... yes, I will tell you--_no_, I will not--it is
foolish!--and it is _not_ foolish in me to love the table and chairs
and vases in your room.

Let me finish writing to-morrow; it would not become me to utter a
word against the arrangement--and Saturday promised, too--but though
all concludes against the early hour on Monday, yet--but this is
wrong--on Tuesday it shall be, then,--thank you, dearest! you let me
keep up the old proper form, do you not?--I shall continue to thank,
and be gratified &c. as if I had some untouched fund of thanks at my
disposal to cut a generous figure with on occasion! And so, now, for
your kind considerateness thank _you ... that I say_, which, God
knows, _could_ not say, if I died ten deaths in one to do you good,
'you are repaid'