unless there is
recognised and independent conception of holiness and goodness, to
which the subsequent assertion is referable? 'You know what _holiness_
is, what it is to be good? Then, He _is_ that'--not, '_that_ is
_so_--because _he_ is that'; though, of course, when once the converse
is demonstrated, this, too, follows, and may be urged for practical
purposes. All God's urgency, so to speak, is on the _justice_ of his
judgments, _rightness_ of his rule: yet why? one might ask--if one
does believe that the rule _is_ his; why ask further?--Because, his is
a 'reasonable service,' once for all.

Understand why I turn my thoughts in this direction. If it is indeed
as you fear, and no endeavour, concession, on my part will avail,
under any circumstances--(and by endeavour, I mean all heart and soul
could bring the flesh to perform)--in that case, you will not come to
me with a shadow past hope of chasing.

The likelihood is, I over frighten myself for you, by the involuntary
contrast with those here--you allude to them--if I went with this
letter downstairs and said simply 'I want this taken to the direction
to-night, and am unwell and unable to go, will you take it now?' my
father would not say a word, or rather would say a dozen cheerful
absurdities about his 'wanting a walk,' 'just having been wishing to
go out' &c. At night he sits studying my works--illustrating them (I
will bring you drawings to make you laugh)--and _yesterday_ I picked
up a crumpled bit of paper ... 'his notion of what a criticism on this
last number ought to be,--none, that have appeared, satisfying
him!'--So judge of what he will say! And my mother loves me just as
much more as must of necessity be.

Once more, understand all this ... for the clock scares me of a
sudden--I meant to say more--far more.

But may God bless you ever--my own dearest, my Ba--

I am wholly your R.

_(Tuesday)_

_E.B.B. to R.B._

Sunday.
[Post-mark, January 19, 1846.]

Your letter came just after the hope of one had past--the latest
Saturday post had gone, they said, and I was beginning to be as vexed
as possible, looking into the long letterless Sunday. Then, suddenly
came the knock--the postman redivivus--just when it seemed so beyond
hoping for--it was half past eight, observe, and there had been a post
at nearly eight--suddenly came the knock, and you