he penholder; now what shall I say?
How am I to use so fine a thing even in writing to you? I will give it
you again in our Isle, and meantime keep it where my other treasures
are--my letters and my dear ringlet.

Thank you--all I can thank.

_R.B. to E.B.B._

Wednesday.
[Post-mark, January 28, 1846.]

Ever dearest--I will say, as you desire, nothing on that subject--but
this strictly for myself: you engaged me to consult my own good in the
keeping or breaking our engagement; not _your_ good as it might even
seem to me; much less seem to another. My only good in this
world--that against which all the world goes for nothing--is to spend
my life with you, and be yours. You know that when I _claim_ anything,
it is really yourself in me--you _give_ me a right and bid me use it,
and I, in fact, am most obeying you when I appear most exacting on my
own account--so, in that feeling, I dare claim, once for all, and in
all possible cases (except that dreadful one of your becoming worse
again ... in which case I wait till life ends with both of us), I
claim your promise's fulfilment--say, at the summer's end: it cannot
be for your good that this state of things should continue. We can go
to Italy for a year or two and be happy as day and night are long. For
me, I adore you. This is all unnecessary, I feel as I write: but you
will think of the main fact as _ordained_, granted by God, will you
not, dearest?--so, not to be put in doubt _ever again_--then, we can
go quietly thinking of after matters. Till to-morrow, and ever after,
God bless my heart's own, own Ba. All my soul follows you,
love--encircles you--and I live in being yours.

_E.B.B. to R.B._

Friday Morning.
[Post-mark, January 31, 1846.]

Let it be this way, ever dearest. If in the time of fine weather, I am
not ill, ... _then_ ... _not now_ ... you shall decide, and your
decision shall be duty and desire to me, both--I will make no
difficulties. Remember, in the meanwhile, that I _have_ decided to let
it be as you shall choose ... _shall_ choose. That I love you enough
to give you up 'for your good,' is proof (to myself at least) that I
love you enough for any other end:--but you thought _too much of me in
the last letter_. Do not mistake me. I believe and trust in all your
words--only you are generous unawares, as other men are selfi