* * * * *

Illustration: _Customer._ "This is a beautiful chop, waiter, the best
you've ever----"

_Waiter._ "Yes, an' I won't 'arf cop nothing. That was the boss's chop
what I've giv you in mistake."

* * * * *

VANDALISM.

The new proposals with regard to the water supply of the City of Glasgow
are causing, we are not surprised to learn, the utmost fury and
consternation throughout Scotland. Criticism has concentrated especially
upon two points: the imminent risk of submerging ROBERT THE BRUCE'S
Stone and, of course, the danger of tampering in however slight a degree
with the birthplace of ROB ROY. The passive resistance movement has
already assumed such proportions that one enterprising publisher feels
justified in announcing a new cheap edition of the "Waverley Novels,"
illustrated from local photographs.

There is, of course, another side to the question. As far as the stone
goes it is contended:--

(1) That no one knows why it should have belonged to ROBERT THE BRUCE,
where he got it or what he did with it when he had it.

(2) That the fact of its being under water would not impair its value in
any way and at the same time would give an historical flavour to every
glass of mitigated whisky thereafter drunk in the City of Glasgow.

(3) That it could very easily be shifted a bit up the hill if it is
desired to keep it dry, and a small permanent umbrella erected over it.

With regard to ROB ROY'S birthplace the contention is that it is
practically impossible to construct a new reservoir in these days
anywhere north of the Tweed which will not interfere in some way with
one or other of the places where ROB ROY was born.

It is not only Scotchmen, however, who have been touched to the quick by
this irreverent and thoughtless proposal. The whole literary profession
is up in arms. A memorial is being prepared to be presented to the PRIME
MINISTER, under the heading, "Hands off ROB ROY!" _Mr. Punch_ himself
has not been idle in the matter. He has spent the last week in eliciting
the opinions of some of our leading writers on this vital question.

Mr. WILLIAM DE MORGAN (in a charming, if rather discursive, letter of
32,000 words) demands legislation. "Who knows," he asks, "to what
lengths this modern craze for water supplies may go? It is even possible
that, within a century, attempts may be made to submerge that delightful
little cottage in th