* * * *

Illustration: THE BILL AND THE AMENDING BILL.

_Nurse ASQUITH._ "Now, take the powder like a good boy."

_Master BONAR LAW._ "Where's the jam?"

_Nurse ASQUITH._ "Oh, that comes later."

_Master BONAR LAW._ "Well, I want to see it now. What's it made of?"

_Nurse ASQUITH._ "I must have notice of that question."

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Monday, May 11._--For a while PRIME MINISTER'S
protest against inordinate questioning, his announcement of
determination not to take part in further shorter catechism more or less
distantly related to the "plot" and the "coup," had wholesome effect. As
he stated, since the plot was discovered he had made seven hundred
replies to friendly inquiries. A Member below Gangway to his right added
the seven hundred and first. Wanted to know whether it is true that the
argumentative questions crowding the notice paper are the product of a
factory in the neighbourhood of Parliament Street, presided over by an
official whose name suggests that he has been "made in Germany."
Expeditiously turned out, as from a sausage machine, is it true that
they are nicely sorted and distributed among Members of the Opposition,
who in turn pelt the PREMIER with them?

After brief lull epidemic breaks out afresh. Twenty-three Questions
addressed to PRIME MINISTER to-day appear on printed paper. As each,
with the aid of semi-colons, represents two, three, occasionally five
distinct queries they reach aggregate of half a hundred. This not
counting Supplementaries.

Happily the PREMIER is incomparable master of the rare art of brief
reply, wherein he presents pleasing contrast to the manner of his old
master, GLADSTONE. Had he chanced to be Premier when the Fourth Party
were struggling into notoriety their task would have been more
difficult, their triumph delayed if not unattainable.

When GRANDOLPH, WOLFF and GORST, with PRINCE ARTHUR looking on, set
themselves to "draw GLADSTONE," as was their custom of an afternoon,
that astute personage became as a child in their hands. GRANDOLPH led
off with a question, to which long reply was made. WOLFF, profusely
grateful for the right hon. gentleman's courtesy, shunted the PREMIER on
to another track, along which he cheerfully sprinted. Then came JOHN O'
GORST. With the subtlety of a trained but not practising barrister he