s. The Argentine, the Brazilian and the
Chilian mediators are mediating; that is to say, they are sitting on
rocking chairs not very close to a large table covered with papers,
pens, ink, etc. A deep noise of falling water pervades the air. Out of
compliment to Canada the conversation is carried on in English._]

_Argentine Mediator._ Cold, isn't it?

_Brazilian Mediator._ Yes, there's a great deal of cold in the
atmosphere.

_Chilian Mediator._ We often get it colder than this in Chili.

(_A pause._)

_A. M._ There's a lot of water coming down.

_B. M._ Yes, and it keeps coming, too, doesn't it?

_C. M._ It isn't as noisy as I thought it would be, though.

_A. M._ Oh, I don't know. It's quite noisy enough.

_B. M._ Yes, it's very difficult to concentrate one's mind. We've got a
waterfall in Brazil which has the same effect. You can't do any work
near it. People go there for a rest-cure.

_C. M._ There are a good many waterfalls in Chili, too, and they make
more noise than this one.

(_A pause._)

_A. M._ How long do you think we shall be here?

_B. M._ A week, or a month, or a year--I don't know.

_C. M._ It's a dull place, isn't it?

_A. M._ Yes, it is, dull as ditchwater.

_B. M._ Dull as a ditchwaterfall. Ha, ha.

_C. M. and A. M. (together)._ Ha, ha. That's capital.

_B. M._ You fellows must remind me to telegraph that home to Brazil.

_A. M._ By the way, I see ROOSEVELT has been in Brazil.

_B. M._ Yes; isn't it awful?

_G. M._ Discovered a river, hasn't he?

_B. M._ Something of that sort. He'll discover the world next.

_A. M._ Anyhow, I'm glad he's not here.

_B. M._ By Jove, yes. Wouldn't it be dreadful if he were?

_C. M._ Don't. You make my flesh creep.

_B. M._ After all, I'm not sure he's worse than WILSON. They're all
alike, these Yankees. I've no use for them and their MONROE Doctrine;
have you?

_A. M._ Not the slightest. If they think we're children they'll soon
find out their mistake.

_C. M._ Hear, hear!

(_A pause._)

_A. M._ Anything new from Mexico?

_B. M._ No. Same old game.

_C. M._ What's HUERTA up to?

_B. M._ Sitting tight.

_A. M._ And what's VILLA doing?

_B. M._ Oh, he's been capturing Tampico a good deal lately.

_C. M._ Isn't a fellow called ZAPATA chipping in somewhere?

_B. M._ Yes, he's having a go too.

(_A pause._)

_A. M._ I say, you men, I've got an idea.

_B. M._ Out with it, then.

_C. M._ Yes, let's have it.

_A. M._ We