okalani of Hawaii and the Vesuvius of
Piddleton with a genuine avalanche of scorn and derision, and had quite
convinced me that the only solvent and secure insurance concern in the
world was the Deutsche Kaiser of Bomberg-am-Rhine. In an inspired
moment I bade Mr. Jeems come round that very evening to present his
facts and figures to Alice, and I laughed slyly to myself as I pictured
the meeting between himself, Mr. Teddy, and Colonel Doller. This may
strike you as having been malicious, but I claim that under the
circumstances I was warranted in planning this practical joke.

Having disposed of these three gentlemen, I flattered myself that I was
temporarily done with the vexatious details of insurance, and I was
getting ready to bank up one of the flowerbeds with black dirt when who
should come along but another neighbor, and a very charming one,
too--Angus Cameron Macleod? For two years we have been more or less
intimate. Macleod combines many strangely diverse accomplishments. He
executes the sword dance with singular grace, and he recites Robert
Burns' poems and passages from "Marmion" by the yard, and with
inspiring animation. Although I am in no sense a music critic, nor
even a connoisseur, I will confess that I have often been actually
transported with delight by neighbor Macleod's rendition of "The
Campbells Are Coming" on the bagpipes. At the same time he is a
skilful rhetorician and severe logician, as all who have heard his
defence of Presbyterianism will testify, and I will concede that I
never heard anything more absorbingly fascinating than his exposition
of the honest and ennobling old doctrine of infant damnation. If you
knew Macleod you 'd agree with me that he is a man of parts.

"Now that your house is pretty nearly done," said Macleod, "you ought
to take out some insurance in our company, the Bonny Thistle Marine of
Inverness."

"But gracious me!" I cried in astonishment. "Why should I take out any
marine insurance on a _house_?"

"For the very best reason in the world," answered Mr. Macleod. "Your
house stands within two hundred yards of one of the fiercest inland
seas of the world. Even now you can hear the tempestuous billows
dashing wildly upon yonder treacherous sands, and you can see the surf
madly reaching out as if to overwhelm this fair spot with its fatal
fury. At any time a tidal wave is likely to sweep in from the frowning
shores of Michigan. Fancy for one moment what wo