wept these blossoming
innocents out of existence, and in other twinklings he wrought
desolation among the peonies, the pansies, and other floral objects
upon which the women folk had lavished a wealth of patient care. A
bull in a china-shop could hardly create the havoc which the Baylor
pup, with his one hundred and seventy-five pounds of animal spirits,
wrought in our lawn. Next morning the lawn looked as if it had been
honored with a nocturnal visitation from Burr Robbins' galaxy of
domesticated wild beasts.

Curiously enough, the Baylors thought it was very funny. I don't know
why it is, but it can't be denied that it _is_ a fact that those acts
which in other people's pups strike us as strangely improper, become in
our own pups the most natural and most mirth-provoking performances in
the world. I recall the anger with which neighbor Baylor drove
neighbor Macleod's mastiff off his porch one evening because that
mastiff attempted to make his way through the screen door behind which
the family cat was visible. In this instance the Macleod mastiff was
simply following the predominating instinct of the canine kind, and
neighbor Baylor hated the unreasonable beast for it. Yet I 'll warrant
me that while his own lubberly pup was prancing around over our
flowerbeds neighbor Baylor regarded the performance as the most cunning
and most charming divertisement in the world.

It is much the same way with children. If I were put upon oath, I
should have to admit that the very same antics which I regard as most
seemly (not to say fascinating) in my own pretty little darlings I do
not approve of at all when I see them attempted by the awkward, homely
children of my neighbors.

XX

I ACQUIRE POISON AND EXPERIENCE

There is no telling to what unparalleled extent I should have carried
my agricultural work but for a happening which interrupted my career in
that direction and temporarily invalidated me for the performance of
all manual labor. To make short of a long and painful story, I will
tell you at once that in the very midst of my agricultural triumphs I
was rudely awakened to a realization of the fact that I had been badly
poisoned by ivy. The luxuriant growth in one part of our lawn which in
my innocence I had mistaken for infant oak trees and had nurtured with
great assiduity proved to be the poison vine which is shunned alike of
knowing man and beast.

The truth about this insiduous [Transcriber's note: