e Association of
Indiana. I liked Smith, and I felt that I ought to be candid with him.
I told him that it was pretty generally agreed by the medical
profession that when a person once got a dose of poison ivy it remained
in his system for seven years, during which period it worked its
baleful offices off and on with varying malignance. I recognized the
fact that I had a valid claim on the Wabash company for fifty dollars a
week for seven years; that the total amount of money due or paid me by
said company at the end of the natural life of the ivy poison would be
a trifle over eighteen thousand dollars. I told Mr. Smith that I was
not disposed to take advantage of or to be too hard on the Wabash
company, and that, being naturally of a conservative disposition, I was
willing to compromise this matter for--say--well--ten thousand dollars,
and cancel the policy.

Mr. Smith answered me in the tone and with the manner of one who is
seeking to break bad news gradually and gently to another.

"It is painfully clear to me," said the kind, sympathetic man, "that
you have not read the conditions upon which your accident policy is
issued to you. I fear that when you come to examine it more carefully
you will learn that in this case you have no claims upon our
company--or, perhaps, I should say _the_ company, since I am merely its
agent and have nothing to do with the framing of its contracts."

"I have the instrument with me," said I, producing the policy. "I have
read it carefully and understand it fully. It is a simple, short,
straightforward document, and the type is so big and clear that even a
child could read it."

"Alas," said Mr. Smith, with a sigh, "I fear you have not read the
conditions; you will find them on the other side of the sheet, printed
in small type."

I turned the page, and surely enough there were a number of paragraphs
under the title of "The Conditions"; they were printed in small type
and pale-blue ink.

"But what have 'conditions' to do with this case?" I asked. "I got
insured in the Wabash Mutual Internecine company against accident, and
here I 've had an accident! Ivy poison is as severe an accident as can
happen to any animal, except, perhaps, an alligator or a rhinoceros,
and I think I 'm entitled to my money."

"You are quite right from your standpoint," said Mr. Smith, "but it is
not the correct standpoint. You are insured (as you will see by
referring to your policy) as an A No.