resses on the top right-hand corner of their offspring.

* * *

Any wind blowing at more than seventy miles an hour, says an informing
paper, may be called a hurricane. At the same time we doubt if this would
have much effect on it.

* * *

Our sympathy is with the young Flight Lieutenant of the R.A.F. who has been
unable to keep up with the uniforms designed by the Air Ministry. He is now
said to be three uniforms behind.

* * *

It is claimed that whilst standing on a certain rock near Aberdeen one can
obtain a thousand echoes from a single shout. We understand that the local
habit of going there in order to pull a cork out of a bottle has now been
prohibited owing to the annoyance caused to American visitors.

* * *

A large grocery warehouse in Liverpool was practically destroyed by fire
last Thursday week. We understand that the orderly manner in which the
cheeses fell in and marched out of the danger-zone was alone responsible
for preventing a panic.

* * *

"Keep smiling and you will never need a doctor," advises a writer in an
illustrated daily. A friend of ours who put it to the test now writes to us
from a well-known county asylum advising us to choose the doctor.

* * *

According to a morning paper, Micky, the oldest ape in the Zoo, now wears a
mournful expression and seems to be tired of life. It is thought that he
may have recently overhead the remark made by a thoughtless visitor that he
was growing more like a Bolshevik every day.

* * *

A certain lamp-post in Maida Vale has been knocked down twice by the same
bus. If the bus knocks it down once more the lamp becomes its own property.

* * *

The amazing report that one of the first six to finish in the London to
Brighton walk was once a telegraph-boy is now denied.

* * *

There is a man living in the Edgware Road, it is stated, who has never been
on an omnibus. He has often seen them whizzing by, he declares, but has
always resisted the temptation to take the fatal plunge.

* * *

There will be no Naval manoeuvres this year, it is announced. How under
these conditions Mr. POLLEN can continue to teach the Navy its business is
a very grave question.

* * *

At a St. Dunstan's auction at Thornton Heath autographs of Mr. GEORGE ROBEY
and the PREMIER were sold at ten shillings each. Mr. ROBEY, it appears,
generously insisted on treating the matter as a joke.

* * *

A Manchester scientist claims to have discovered a means