is, you see, an educated man.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Editor (to poet of somewhat dissolute habits who has been
paid in advance for contributions which are not forthcoming)._ "I KNOW
YOU'RE GOING TO THE DEVIL AS HARD AS YOU CAN; BUT YOU'VE GOT TO SING AS YOU
GO."]

* * * * *

CONSOLIDATING THE EMPIRE.

"In honour of the visit to Napier of the Prince of Wales the roof of
the Borough Council offices is to be given a coat of paint."--_New
Zealand Paper._

* * * * *

"PERSONAL.

ARTHUR.--You idiot.--Irene."--_Times._

Very "personal," we should say.

* * * * *

"Sir Auckland and Lady Geddes left London last Saturday for the Untied
States."--_Irish Paper._

It is only fair to add that they have not chosen this country for the sake
of its easy Divorce Laws.

* * * * *

"Major. Christopher Lowther (CUCumberland, North) moved a new clause."
--_Provincial Paper._

It was somewhere in this neighbourhood, we believe, that WORDSWORTH
discovered his "winsome marrow."

* * * * *

"Though to-day is Primrose Day...."--_Daily Mirror, April 12th._

At the risk of being thought behind the times, we ourselves deferred our
celebration until April 19th as usual.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "YOU SETTLE WITH HIM. YOU'RE CHAIRMAN OF THE
ANTI-PROFITEERING COMMITTEE."]

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"BIRDS OF A FEATHER."

It is nearly always a good thing for the author of a play to know what he
is after, and if he can get his audience to follow him so much the better.
It is quite possible that Mr. ESMOND had an idea in his head when he wrote
_Birds of a Feather_, but if so he never let me get at it. Up to the very
end I had no conception of what he was trying to illustrate, unless it was
the trite theory that we are the creatures of our environment.

That, at any rate, was how _Constance_ (of "the House of _Ussher_")
explained her vagaries, though I couldn't see why. The daughter of a very
rich Jew, whose Christian wife had run away from him, she was brought up in
great comfort, which included the love of a peer's son, her father's
secretary. It is true that her stern parent would not hear of their union;
but that has no doubt happened