l human passion for
believing that life can somehow, behind all the miseries and the mysteries,
mean something profoundly worth while." To render justice to his mental and
physical agility is beyond our powers.

We have been driven to culling this memorable sentence from the latest and
most preternaturally precious of his American admirers.

It is only fair to say that as a dancing fictionist Mr. BENNETT will not be
allowed to have it entirely his own way. Rumours are already afloat of the
appearance on the boards of Messrs. CHESTERTON and BELLOC, under the
impressive aliases of Campoborgo and Bellocchio, "the Terrible
Tarantulators." This may be only a wild surmise. There is however strong _a
priori_ evidence in support of the statements that Mr. MASEFIELD is taking
lessons in the Fox Trot at Boar's Hill, and that Lord Northsquith is
bringing back with him from Morocco a powerful troupe of Dancing Dervishes,
with the intention of installing them ultimately in Downing Street.

* * * * *

OUR LITERARY LEGISLATORS.

"AN IMPERIAL POLICY.

(By Mr. ALFRED BIGLAND, M.P.)

May I commence my argument by a well-known quotation from Shakespeare,
'He knows not England who only England knows'?"--_Liverpool Paper_.

* * * * *

"SITUATIONS OPEN.

(COLONIAL, INDIAN AND FOREIGN.)

IRELAND.--Invoice Clerk required by leading firm of Wholesale Druggists
in Ireland."--_Trade Paper._

Dominion Home Rule casts its shadow before.

* * * * *

"The decree of the Archbishop of Canterbury for the creation of a
separate Providence of Wales was read."--_Scotch Paper._

What's wrong with Mr. LLOYD GEORGE?

* * * * *

[Illustration: RESTORING THE BALANCE.

VOICE FROM AUDIENCE: "IT'S A TRICK!"

PERFORMER: "OF COURSE IT'S A TRICK! THE POINT IS THAT IT HASN'T BEEN DONE
FOR YEARS AND YEARS--AND I'LL TROUBLE YOU TO APPLAUD IT."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, April 12th._--Neither Ministers nor ordinary Members showed any
marked eagerness to resume their Parliamentary labours. Little green oases
were to be seen in every part of the House, and on the Treasury Bench even
Under-Secretaries (who often have to maintain a precarious perch on one
another's knees) had room to spread themselves.

The Underground Railway may, like