rer is not only "teetotally" deaf and dumb, but also
blind, barmy and partially paralysed)._ May God's blessin' and the
blessin's of all the howly Saints an' Martyrs be on ye, and would ye spare
a little copper for a poor owld sthricken crature an' I'll pray for ye this
night an' ivvery night of me life?

_Girl in Brown._ Give her a shilling, Uncle George, and tell her to pray
for Freddy _now_.

[Uncle George _does the needful_.

_Beggar-man (miraculously recovering his speech)._ Whist! Was that a
shillin' he gave ye? That makes ten ye have now, thin. Bun like a hare an'
put ut on Acrobat at the best ye can get.

_Farmer._ Clancy leads be a length.

_Dealer._ Thin 'tis a hardy rider will dare pass the owld foxey mare now,
for she'd reach out an' chew the leg off him, she's that jealous.

_Farmer._ Woof! Pat Maguire is into the wather head-first an' dhrinkin' a
bellyful, I'll warrant--which same will be a new sensation for him.

_Dealer._ It will indeed. 'Tis a wonder he wouldn't send a lad round the
course before him givin' the ditches a dash from a pocket-flask the way
he'd be in his iliment should he take a toss--the thirsty poor fella!

_Farmer._ The foxey mare is down on her nose an' Clancy throwing somersets
all down the course. Acrobat has ut.

_Dealer._ He has not. He is all bet up. He's rollin' like a Wexford
pig-boat. Beau Brocade has the legs of him.

_Girl in Brown (jumping up and down)._ Beau Brocade! Beau Brocade! Oh,
Freddy darling!

_Beggar-man (miraculously recovering his sight)._ Acrobat! Put the whip to
him, ye lazy varmint! Acrobat! Och, wirra, wirra!

_Dealer._ Beau Brocade has him cot. He is on his quarther. He is on his
shoulder. They are neck and neck. He has him bet. Huroosh!

_Farmer._ What are you hurooshin' for--you with five poun' on Acrobat?

_Dealer (crestfallen)._ Och, dang it, I was forgettin'.

_Girl in Brown (dancing and clapping her hands)._ Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!

_Beggar-man._ ***!!! ***!!!

[_Local brass band, throned in a dilapidated waggonette, explodes into the
opening strains of "Garryowen."_

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

"The question which arises in the mind of
the writer is this:--'Is Salicylic Aldehyde
"C6H4<COH orthohydroxybenzaldehyde"
OH
the cause of the trouble?'"--_The Fruit-Grower._

It must be a dreadful thing to have a mind like that.

* * * * *

[Illustra