rish
stew--robbery and house-breaking in a basin of mutton-broth--and an
aggravated assault in a pork sausage. Upon this noble and statesmanlike
theory Sir Robert has based a bill which, when it becomes the law of the
land, will, we feel assured, tend effectually to keep the rebellious
stomachs of the people in a state of wholesome depletion. And as we now
punish those offenders who break the Queen's peace, we shall, in like
manner, then inflict the law upon the hungry scoundrels who dare to break
the Queen's Fast.

We have been enabled, through a private source, to obtain the following
authentic copy of Sir Robert's scale of the offences under the intended
Act, with the penalty attached to each, viz.:

For penny rolls or busters Imprisonment not exceeding a
week.

For bread of any kind, with Imprisonment for a month.
cheese or butter

For saveloys, German sausages, One month's imprisonment, with
and Black puddings hard labour.

For a slice of ham, bacon, or Imprisonment for three months,
meat of any kind and exercise on the treadmill.

For a hearty dinner on beef and Transportation for seven years.
pudding

For do. with a pot of home-brewed Transportation for life.
ale.

As these offences apply only to those who have no right to eat, the
wealthy and respectable portion of society need be under no apprehension
that they will be exposed to any inconvenience by the operation of the new
law.

* * * * *

NOBODY CARES AND*

WELLINGTON has justified his claim to the _sobriquet_ of 'the iron Duke'
by the manner in which he treated the deputation from Paisley. His Grace
excused himself from listening to the tale of misery which several
gentlemen had travelled 500 miles to narrate to him, on the plea that he
was not a Minister of the Crown. Yet we have a right to presume that the
Queen prorogued Parliament upon his Grace's recommendation, so if he be
not one of Peel's Cabinet what is he? We suppose

[Illustration: * NOBODY NOSE.]

* * * * *

HINTS HOW TO ENJOY AN OMNIBUS.

1. On getting in, care neither for toes or knees of the passengers; but
drive your way up to the top, steadying yourself by the shoulders, chests,
or even faces of those seated.

2. Seat yourself with a jerk, pushing ag