re "up the spout!"

I little knew when first ye threw
Your bright'ning beams on coming hours,
That time would see me turn from thee,
And fly your sweet delusive powers.
Now, nerved to woe, no more I'll know
How hope deferr'd makes mortal sick;
The gathering storm may whelm my form,
But I will suffer "like a brick!"

* * * * *

LAURIE'S RAILLERY.

When Sir Peter Laurie had taken his seat the other morning in that Temple
of Momus, the Guildhall Justice Room, he was thus addressed by Payne, the
clerk--"I see, Sir Peter, an advertisement in the _Times_, announcing the
sale of shares in the railroad from Paris to ROUEN; would you advise me to
invest a little loose cash in that speculation?" "Certainly not," replied
the Knight, "nor in any other railway,--depend upon it, they all lead to
the same terminus, RUIN." Payne, having exclaimed that this was the best
thing he had ever heard, was presented by our own Alderman with a
shilling, accompanied with a request that he would get his hair cropped to
the magisterial standard.

* * * * *

A MEETING OF OLD ACQUAINTANCES.

At the sale of the library of the late Theodore Hook, a curious copy of
"The Complete Jester" was knocked down to "our own" Colonel. Delighted
with his prize, he ran home, intending to lay in a fresh stock of _bons
mots_; but what was his amazement on finding that all the jokes contained
in the volume were those with which he has been in the habit of
entertaining the public these last forty years! Sibby declares that the
sight of so many old friends actually brought the tears into his eyes.

* * * * *

PUNCH'S THEATRE.

LOVE EXTEMPORE.

As the hero of a romantic play is obliged to possess all the cardinal
virtues and all the intellectual accomplishments, so the hero of a farce
is bound to be a fool. One of the greatest, and at the same time one of
the best fools it has been our pleasure to be introduced to for some time
is _Mr. Titus Livingstone_, in the new farce of "Love Extempore."

_Mr. Titus Livingstone_ possesses an excellent heart, a good fortune, and
an uncommon stock of modesty. His intellects are, however, far from
brilliant; indeed, but for one trait in his character he would pass for an
idiot,--he has had the good sense never as yet to fall in love! In fact,
the farce is founded upon that identical incident of his