ainst one neighbour, and thrusting
your elbow into the side of the other. You will thus get plenty of room.

3. If possible, enter with a stick or umbrella, pointed at full length; so
that any sudden move of the "bus" may thrust it into some one's stomach.
It will make you feared.

4. When seated, occupy, if possible, the room of two, and revenge the
treatment you have received on entering, by throwing every opposition in
the way of a new-comer, especially if it be a woman with a child in her
arms. It is a good plan to rest firmly on your umbrella, with your arms at
right angles.

5. Open or shut windows as it suits you; men with colds, or women with
toothaches, have no business in omnibuses. If they don't like it, they can
get out; no one _forces_ them to ride.

6. Young bucks may stare any decent woman out of countenance, put their
legs up along the seats, and if going out to dinner, wipe the mud off
their boots on the seats. They are only plush.

7. If middle-aged gentlemen are musical or political, they can dislocate a
tune in something between a bark and a grumble, or endeavour to provoke an
argument by declaring very loudly that Lord R---- or the Duke "is a
thorough scoundrel," according to their opinion of public affairs. If
this don't take, they can keep up a perpetual squabble with the conductor,
which will show they think themselves of some importance.

8. Ladies wishing to be agreeable can bring lap dogs, large paper parcels,
and children, to whom an omnibus is a ship, though you wish you were out
of their reach.

9. Conductors should particularly aim to take up laundresses returning
with a large family washing, bakers and butchers in their working jackets,
and, if a wet day, should be particular not to pull up to the pathway.

10. For want of space, the following brevities must suffice:--Never say
where you wish to stop until after you have passed the place, and then
pull them up with a sudden jerk. Keep your money in your
waistcoat-pocket, and button your under and upper coat completely, and
never attempt to get at it until the door is opened, and then let it be
nothing under a five-shilling piece. Never ask any one to speak to the
conductor for you, but hit or poke him with your umbrella or stick, or rap
his hand as it rests on the door. He puts it there on purpose. Always stop
the wrong omnibus, and ask if the Paddington goes to Walworth, and the
Kennington to Whitechapel: you are not obliged to