itics like these mortal goddesses!

To please such readers, authors make it answer
To trace a pedigree to the creation
Of some old Saxon peer; a monstrous grandsire,
Whose battles tell, in print, to admiration--
But I, unfortunate, have never once a
Mysterious hint of any great relation;
I know whether Shem or Japhet--right sir--
Was my progenitor--nor care a kreutzer.

For, though there's matter for regret in losing
An opportune occasion to record
The feats in gambling, duelling, seducing--
Conventional acquirements of a lord--
Still I have stories startling and amusing,
Which I can tell and vouch, upon my word.
To anybody who desires to hear 'em--
But don't be nervous, pray,--you needn't fear 'em.

But what of my poor Hy-son all this while?
She saved the gardener by a timely kiss.
Few husbands are there proof against a smile,
And Te-pott's rage endured no more than this.
Ah, reader! gentle, moral, free from guile,
Think you she did so _very_ much amiss?
She was not love-sick for the fellow quite--
She merely _thought_ of him--from morn till night!

A state of mind how much by parents dreaded!
(By those outrageous parents, English mammas,
Who scarcely own their daughters till they're wedded)--
How postulant of patent Chubbs and Bramahs!
And eyes--the safest locks when locks are needed!--
And Abigails, and homilies, and grammars;
And other antidotes for "detrimentals"--
_Id est_, fine gentlemen unblest with rentals.

But this could not stop here; nor did it stop--
For both were anxious for--an explanation.
And in the harem's grating was a gap,
Whence Hy-son peep'd in modest hesitation;
While on his spade the gardener would prop
Himself, and issue looks of adoration;
Until it happen'd, like a lucky rhyme,
Each for the other look'd at the same time.

Then fell the gardener upon his knees,
And kiss'd his hand in manner most devout--
So Hy-son couldn't find the heart to tease
The poor dear man by being in a pout;--
Besides, she might go walk among the trees,
And not a word of scandal be made out.
She thought a--very--little more upon it,
Then smiled to Sou-chong,--and put on her bonnet.

* * * * *

PUNCH AND THE SWISS GIANTESS!

SHERIFFS' COURT.--WEDNESDAY.

BONBON _versus_ PUNCH.

[This important cause came on for trial on Wednesday