The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 101,
August 29, 1891, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 101, August 29, 1891

Author: Various

Release Date: September 20, 2004 [EBook #13503]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 101.

August 29, 1891.

STORICULES.

I.--THE SUICIDE-ADVERTISEMENT.

[Illustration]

As you stood before the automatic machine on the station platform,
making an imbecile choice between a packet of gooseberry nougat and
a slab of the gum caramel, you could not help seeing on the level of
your eye this notice:--"BLACKING-CREAM. ASK FOR HIGLINSON'S, AND TAKE
NO OTHER."

Similar announcements met you on every hoarding, in almost every paper
and magazine, on every omnibus. Neat little packets of HIGLINSON's
Blacking-cream were dropped through your letter-box, with a printed
request that you would honour Mr. HIGLINSON by trying it. Leaflets
were handed you in the street to tell you what public analysts
said about it, and in what great hotels it was the only blacking
used. Importunity pays. Sooner or later you bought HIGLINSON's
Blacking-cream. You then found out that it was just about as good as
any other, and went on buying it.

In one way this was very good for Mr. HIGLINSON, because he became
very rich; in other ways it was not so good for him. For a long time
he had nothing to do with public life; the public never thought about
his existence; to the public he was not a man at all--he was only
part of the name of the stuff they used for their boots. If he had
introduced himself to a stranger, giving the name of HIGLINSON, it is
probable that the stranger would have remarked jocularly, "No relation
to the Blacking-cream, I presume?" HIGLINSON knew this, and it pained
him deeply, for he was a sensitive man.

Because he was sensitive and felt things so much, he wrote a volume of
very melancholy verses. He was unmarried and lonely, and he wanted to
lead a high life. He sai